


1000 Touches

by little_dhampir



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Car Accidents, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:09:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4742417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dhampir/pseuds/little_dhampir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin had been in a car accident when he was younger, which left him with lots of scars, both physical and psychological. After a date gone wrong he drunkenly decides that the only person he would feel comfortable with to see and touch his body would be his best friend and roommate Arthur, which leads to the idea to become friends with benefits. Of course then their relationship changes, maybe even into something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1000 Touches

**Author's Note:**

> A big, big thank you to my lovely artist, whose art can be found [here](http://blau-enishi.tumblr.com/post/128482831581/art-for-after-camlann-2015-title-1000-touches%22)  
> Your work is so amazing!!!
> 
> Thank you Maxine for being my last minute Beta; you saved me!
> 
> Thank you [Irene](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sidhwen/pseuds/sidhwen%22) for helping me plan this thing and for letting me babble about this story in our chat :)
> 
> Thanks to all people involved with After Camlann; once again you did a great job!
> 
> Last but not least a big thank you to the whole Merlin fandom for keeping the show alive. None of this could happen without you!
> 
> ***
> 
> I added a trigger warning to the end notes; please read it if you may be concerned about reading something you don't feel comfortable with.
> 
> ***
> 
> In case you are still reading this: the title was inspired by a German song called [1000 Mal Berührt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBHeQhA0ubE) . The song is about two friends who have touched each other a 1000 times without anything happening. But then they fall for each other.

**April 2004**.

Mornings in the Emrys household were usually always the same, at least during the weekdays. At six am sharp the alarm would go off in the major bedroom of the little cottage in the village Ealdor. Hunith, head of the family, would pretend to be asleep just a few minutes longer to enjoy the feeling of her husband Balinor lying next to her before getting up to get breakfast and lunch ready for her family. 

She would shower for a short time; during which she could just imagine her husband grumbling about not wanting to get up yet, and then head to the kitchen to make tea. After finishing the lunch packet for her son, she would start on the breakfast. Not much later Balinor would appear with a still sleepy looking Merlin and they would all eat together. 

Once they finished their son would run up to finish getting ready for school, his parents waiting in the kitchen and finishing their tea. At half past seven Balinor and Merlin would leave the house; Balinor would drop off their son on his way to work whereas Hunith would walk over to her work a few minutes before eight. She would spend a few hours in the little shop in the village, before it would be time to pick up Merlin; or as he had grown older, wait for him to come home after school, already having finished making him some snack. 

Sometimes he would get home a few minutes earlier or a few minutes later, depending on how much time he spend goofing around with his friends on his way home. He would start doing his homework and she would pretend she could still help him with his math problems. In the evening, Balinor would come home and they would all enjoy dinner, spend some time in front of the TV or play games before they all retired to their bedrooms. It was always the same. Until it wasn’t.

It was a Tuesday, and for some reason Hunith’s alarm didn’t go off this particular morning, leaving the whole family running late. After a few bites of the hastily prepared breakfast, a still half asleep Merlin followed his likewise half asleep father to the car, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He was so not prepared for the revision he would have in third period. Climbing into the passenger seat he tried to remember what he had read in his history textbook the night before, but he just couldn’t. 

He loved history – in fact, it was his favourite subject – but today he just couldn’t remember anything. Somehow he had a feeling the day just wasn’t his day. Balinor hastily reversed out of their parking space, knowing they would both be late if he didn’t get to the school fast enough. Maybe that was why he was driving a little too quickly and maybe that was why he didn’t manage to slow down in time when the other car ignored the stop sign, colliding with the Emrys’ family car frontal. Balinor lost control over the car, which got tossed against a tree when another car slammed into theirs.

For a moment Merlin couldn’t think; everything was happening so fast. The smell of burnt rubber and smoke was thick in the air. There was so much blood - blood on his father’s now lifeless form, blood on himself, blood everywhere Merlin looked. The window shield was smashed apart, glass pieces and branches drilled into his chest. And then there was fire, oh gosh, the fire. Merlin couldn’t move; he called for his father, called for help, but all he could hear were the flames growing higher and higher and feel them burning hotter and hotter and…

 

***************************************

 **August 2014**.

Merlin startled out of his sleep; his heart pounding, his breathing going too fast. A nightmare. He hadn’t had those dreams in a long time; they usually only came when he was feeling too anxious. It took him a few minutes to calm his racing heart, reaching over to stop his alarm’s ringing. 

Memories of the accident ghosted around in his head. He could still feel the fire on his skin, where now only scar tissue was left, proof that the nightmare was an echo of what had happened all those years ago. With a sigh he got up, deciding to take a cold shower, hoping it would help with the burning sensation his brain was making up by reminding him of that day.

Once in the shower, he finally started to relax a bit, even though a cold shower wasn’t something he found typically relaxing. Still, it helped; it always helped. Sighing again, Merlin got ready to face the day. 

He had a date today, which was probably his reason for his anxiousness. Dating wasn’t something he was good at or very experienced with. He had spent most of his teenage years still healing, both mentally and physically, so he had skipped that part of adolescent awkwardness. Now he was 25 years old with less experience than most guys his age had. No wonder he was nervous.

He quickly brushed his teeth and checked his face and hair. He looked tired and there were dark circles under his eyes; his nightmare had drained all his energy. His dark hair was even more unruly than usual, which meant his hyper visible ears were sticking out even more than usual with his hair not hiding them like it should.

He decided to dress in baggy jeans and his favourite t-shirt. It wasn’t the most glorious outfit one might chose for a date, but Merlin needed something he felt comfortable in. Plus, his clothing was the least of his problems with all that dating business. He went into the kitchen. 

Arthur, his best friend and roommate, was already up, sitting on a barstool in their kitchen, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. The sun was shining through the kitchen window, making Arthur’s hair look even more golden than it usually did. He was already wearing a suit for work, because he, unlike Merlin, usually managed to eat his breakfast without leaving a trail on his shirt. Today his shirt was a light blue, the same blue as his eyes, which were staring at the sports news as if he hadn’t seen last night’s football game with some of his footie mates in their living room. He finally looked up and smiled when Merlin started the coffee machine.

“Morning, Merlin.” He sounded irritatingly happy for an early morning. Normally Arthur was not a morning person; sometimes it even took him several cups of his favourite espresso to even start talking. 

“Morning?” Merlin replied while waiting for his latte macchiato to finish. He could hear the question mark in his greeting, but he just couldn’t figure out Arthur’s good mood.  
“So, are you going to wear this for your date?” Arthur asked, looking slightly skeptical at the faded Doctor Who shirt, but still with a smile in his voice. Ah, Merlin thought; so Arthur remembered. 

“Well, it’s going to be a disaster anyway, so I thought I could at least be comfortable.” 

“It’s not going to be a disaster; Gwen said he’s a really nice guy, so you should get along swimmingly. By the way, what’s his name again? Just in case it does go wrong and I need to defend your honour.” 

Coming from anyone else, Merlin would have gotten angry, but Arthur said the words winking. Well, winking but still meaning them. He had been with Merlin through so many ups and even more downs; he knew what to do to make Merlin feel better. He always had. Maybe that’s why they were friends even though they were obviously as different as night and day. 

Arthur was blond and blue eyed, with golden, sun-kissed skin, a big and easy smile on his lips. He looked as though he had just stepped out of a fashion magazine and you could almost see his perfect muscles through his dress shirt. On the other hand, Merlin’s hair was raven, his skin pale as if he had never seen the sun before and he was so gangly that he could invent a new body type. Their personalities were as different as their looks but somehow they worked together perfectly as they had for several years.

Merlin smiled. “You won’t need to defend my honour, I promise. I’m a big boy and you need to leave for work unless you want to be late for the meeting with your father.” They both knew Arthur didn’t want that, so Arthur put his breakfast dishes away, gave Merlin’s shoulder a quick squeeze before grabbing his bag and heading for the door.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” he said, but before Merlin could reply he was gone. As if, Merlin thought before finishing his morning ritual.

 

***************************************

 

If there was one thing Arthur despised it was meeting with his father in the morning. Sadly, it wasn’t so unusual and came with working for the family business. However, what his father announced today was definitely not usual business meeting talk. 

Arthur had managed to arrive on time at the main office of Pendragon Inc., one of the country’s biggest and wealthiest companies, even though he had nearly missed his stop; he had been too busy worrying about Merlin and his date tonight. He knew he cared too much, but in his eyes Merlin sometimes still was the scared looking kid he met back in school. When he had arrived in his office, Elena, his ever faithful secretary, was already waiting with another cup of coffee for him. She knew him well enough to know that he only could survive Uther with a rather large amount of caffeine. 

“So,” the strong voice of his father brought him back into the present. “I decided that I will marry Catrina. And of course she said yes.” 

For a minute Arthur was dumbfounded before it hit him. 

“You can’t,” but he didn’t finish. He knew full well that his words would not change anything and calling his future step mother a troll would certainly not help the frail relationship he already had with the icy woman his father had started dating a few months ago.

“I can’t what?” Uther asked, looking not at all like a man pronouncing his marriage plans. On the other hand, Arthur’s father never looked like a man who enjoyed life, so why would he look like a man who enjoyed getting married?

“Nothing,” Arthur hastily replied. “Have you informed Morgana about the good news?”

Morgana, Arthur’s older sister, was currently on holidays with her husband Leon. She kept sending him pictures of the beautifully beaches they visited, reminding him that it has been way too long since he took off to travel for anything other than business matters.

“No, but you can tell her when she calls the next time, seeing as she is only contacting you anyway.” It wasn’t said with a bitter undertone like one might imagine with such words; Uther didn’t have time for personal matters, so it was alright by him if his two children kept in contact with each other rather than with him during these situations. 

“That was all I had to tell you, you can get back to work now. I need the report from yesterday’s meeting in my office in an hour.” 

Uther already looked at his computer again, a sure sign for Arthur that there would be no further discussion on the upcoming marriage. With an internal sigh Arthur stood up in front of his father’s desk and left the office without another word. Uther didn’t care for pleasantries and Arthur needed to finish the report. 

Elena was already waiting for him, her light blond curls bouncing and looking slightly out of control. She may not look like it, with the fact that she somehow never manages to dress appropriately for the world of the rich and privileged that they both worked and lived in, but she was a damn fine secretary. 

She was the daughter of one of Uther’s friends, the darling of her father, who had asked Uther if he had a place for his daughter in the company. Uther was not really all that much impressed by her but decided to give her a chance; keeping business partners happy was, after all, very important for a big company like Pendragon Inc. As it turns out, she was exactly the kind of secretary Arthur needed; she was efficient and did not get easily intimidated by Uther. Plus she did not want to work here in the hopes of seducing a rich businessman. 

She knew exactly how Arthur liked his coffee, black but with sugar, and managed to get through his thick head if Arthur needed her to be the person of reason. She was also funny and it came as no surprise that she soon became part of his group of friends. Plus, she adored Merlin and somehow even managed to get along swimmingly with Gwaine. The latter one was refreshing and the first one was no surprise; everyone loved Merlin.

“How did it go?” she asked handing him his next dose of caffeine. She didn’t look like she spent last night watching football with them. Somehow she never looked tired, always full of energy.

“My father is actually planning to marry the troll.” He didn’t need to say who the troll was; she already knew.

She made a face and knowing Arthur probably didn’t want to talk about it, changed the subject. “So how is Merlin? Ready for his big date tonight?” she asked instead. She knew why Merlin was single; well, at least she knew parts of his past. Some things only Arthur was privy to though.

“He tried to play it down, but I could tell that he was nervous. I only hope this guy won’t hurt him.” And if he did, Arthur would hurt him in turn.

Arthur saw the report he had started writing yesterday lying unfinished on his desk. He knew he had to finish it for Uther, even though talking to Elena was much more enjoyable.  
“So, back to work, or Uther will have our heads,” he said before sitting down and smiling at Elena when she went back to her own desk.

 

***************************************

 

Merlin started work at nine in the morning on most days. He had started working at Gaius’ bookshop when he was still in University and soon realized that that’s what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, getting a degree in literature finally made sense.

Gaius was like an uncle to him and, having no family left himself, he kind of adopted Merlin as his own. He had been a doctor in his younger years, but stopped when his eyesight had gotten worse. Books being his second love, he had opened up Avalon Books and had been working there since. He was planning to let Merlin take over one day, but as long as he could still stand he would stand between the walls and walls full of books and recommend them to old and new customers and to everyone else who wandered into the shop.  
“How are you today, my dear boy? Nervous about your date?” He knew because Merlin had asked to leave work an hour earlier to get to the restaurant on time.

Merlin only shrugged, feeling weird talking to Gaius about his love life. Or rather lack thereof, most of the time. Gaius only arched one eyebrow, a mimic only he could achieve in that way and headed over to a bookshelf where a distinguished looking older man was standing with a young infant. 

Merlin would talk to him if he needed to, but Gaius guessed he would rather talk to Freya. Gaius had hired the shy looking girl a few weeks ago to help Merlin with the work and so far had been really impressed. She may have a shy nature but if someone started to talk about books with her she opened up; a good quality for their line of work.

“So what did you do yesterday,” he asked Freya, hoping that for once someone did not want to talk about his upcoming date.

“Oh, I just finished this book,” she replied, and began to recount its details. Merlin didn’t get the name but enjoyed listening. She always seemed to blossom when she talked about books.

 

***************************************

 

Merlin was nervous all the way to his date. He was nervous on the tube and he was even more nervous at the restaurant waiting for the man Gwen was setting him up with. What if it was obvious that he was so unused to the whole dating business that this guy would run away thinking Merlin was a freak? 

The last time Merlin was this tense was when he started school at Camelot High. After spending weeks in the hospital, his mum had been left penniless; she had spent all of her savings on the funeral – which Merlin couldn’t attend due to his critical condition – and on Merlin’s therapy, both the physical and psychological. 

After weeks of searching for a way to earn more money, she had found a job in the city and jumped at the opportunity to leave Ealdor behind. She had wanted a fresh start for the two of them and moving to the city was the best way to do that. But it had also meant Merlin had to transfer schools, which back then had been a big issue for Merlin.

 

***************************************

 **September 2004**.

Merlin tried to remember his first day at his last school to calm his nerves, but it didn’t help. He had been scared shitless even back then; his shy nature had never helped him make friends very fast, and that was before —

Merlin shook his head at the train of thoughts. He had promised his mum he would try and not let the accident define his life. After all, he was still the same old Merlin, just with a few extras like his scars or his bi-weekly therapy sessions or…

The bus stopped, and Merlin scrambled out, getting a first real glimpse of his new school. So far he had only seen it when he and his mum had driven by on their way to their new flat. Like everything else it was bigger than his old one; more modern with more students running around talking about stuff normal teenagers talked about. Merlin heard something about an upcoming football game. According to the short research he had done last weekend, Camelot High was known for their good sports program, and the Camelot Knights even won a few football games against other schools. He listened absently while he decided to search for his locker.

Merlin should have known that finding his locker would not be easy; the school was so big and had so many halls that Merlin was more than glad he came here a bit earlier than necessary. After shyly asking for directions twice he finally managed to find his designated locker, only to have two girls standing next to it. These two girls could not have looked any less alike. 

The taller one was clearly dressed to impress, her clothes slightly too revealing for school, though she had the body to show off. Her long, straight, dark hair went past her shoulders, framing her like a dark angel. She wore heels that looked like they could kill, an aura she had herself. She looked like a girl who could handle herself and would still look fabulous after beating up a bunch of gangsters. 

The other girl was a bit on the tiny side; her dark brown curls falling around her caramel coloured face and making her appear like an angel. She wore a flowery dress that seemed to suit her nature well; she was your nice girl next door. 

Merlin approached the two of them.

“Ahm, excuse me? You’re standing partly in front of my locker,” Merlin told them in a quiet voice. The taller one looked him up and down a minute before angel face smiled at him.  
“Oh hi, you must be my new neighbor then. Well, locker neighbor. I’m Gwen,” she introduced herself gripping his hand. “And this is Morgana,” she added, gesturing towards the intimidating looking girl. 

“I’m Merlin,” he replied. It would be rude not to introduce himself as well. He started throwing some stuff into his locker, and all the while the girls kept standing next to him talking.

“Are you new here Merlin?” Morgana spoke to him for the first time. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before. I would remember those cheekbones.” He blushed; most people remembered him more for his ears.

“Yeah, my mum and I just moved here,” he replied, noting that none of them asked him about where his father was, which made them very likeable in his eyes. Seeing as he already managed to talk to them he decided to ask them, “Do you know where room 203 is? I think I have History there now.” 

“Oh it’s just around the corner. You’re lucky; we seem to be sharing our first class.” 

So the girls adopted him into their midst. 

 

***************************************

 **August 2014**.

When Arthur came home late from work – there had been a server problem at the company which meant he had to repeat most of his work – he noted that Merlin’s worn Converse were already lying in their hall. This could either be a good or a bad thing. Judging by the lack of noise Arthur feared it was the latter. 

Wandering through the flat his suspicion was confirmed when he found Merlin sitting in the big armchair in front of their library. The library was actually just a wall full of books, but seeing how much Merlin liked it there, Arthur had named that part of their living room their library. 

Merlin had his knees pulled to his chest, his head lying on them while silent sobs seemed to shake his body. Arthur’s heart broke. He went over to Merlin, who didn’t even register that Arthur was home, and gently pushed him to the side to he could sit next to him. The armchair wasn’t really made to be occupied by two people at once and much less two grown men, so even if they didn’t intend to, they were now forced to cuddle.

“That bad?” Arthur asked cautiously while undoing his tie. His left arm was now lying on Merlin’s shoulder, hoping that physical contact may help him get out of his shell.  
Finally Merlin lifted his head; his cheeks were wet and his eyes puffy as he looked at Arthur.

“I am a freak,” he just said. “Everything went fine until I freaked out. Then I ruined everything.” The last words were said with new tears running down his face.  
“I’m sure he’ll forgive you. Gwen said he’s a nice guy and you just said it went fine. So what, you have baggage, we all do. What made you freak anyway? I’m sure you had a reason,” Arthur tried to help.

“He kissed me. After dinner he kissed me and all I could think about was, what if he wanted to do more than kiss? What if he wanted sex? Just the thought of him seeing… it just made me sick with worry and I started to panic and then he made that stupid joke; at least he thought it was a joke and I tried not to act like it but I am a terrible actor so I went into full on freak out. Oh gosh!” Merlin started to cry again.

“Hey, hey there,” Arthur hugged Merlin to his chest. “You are not a freak. You are not. And whatever stupid joke he told was just that, a stupid joke.”

“He said: Don’t act like a virgin.” The sentence was whispered against Arthur’s chest. “It was meant as a joke; I mean what 25 year old is still a virgin unless he is a monk or a freak. And that’s it; I’m a freak, a freak who will die a virgin because he is too afraid to show his own body.”

Arthur gripped Merlin’s shoulder, so he had no choice but look up from Arthur’s chest. “You listen to me now. You are not a freak and one day you will meet someone who will appreciate you, your body and all of what you’ve been through for exactly that. Who will see you as a survivor as I do and will love you exactly the way you are. Someone who will never judge you for your scars or your inexperience and when you finally get there with him it will be perfect. All right?”

Merlin only nodded, seeing the sincerity in Arthur’s eyes. He whipped away his tears and entangled himself from Arthur. With a still watery smile he said; “I think I need some alcohol now.”

“Yeah, me too,” Arthur replied and followed Merlin into the kitchen. “Work was hell and you would never believe what my father told me.” He opened the refrigerator and pulled a bottle of wine out while starting to talk about his day. Merlin smiled while searching for the wine glasses, the events of his day almost forgotten now. 

Arthur was good at things like that; always had been. He was once again Merlin’s knight in shining amour, ready to defend him even against himself; just as he had defended him when they had first met.

 

***************************************

 **September 2004**.

Merlin’s first day at Camelot High actually went better than expected; as luck would have it, he shared all of his classes that day with either Gwen or Morgana if not the both of them. Sadly he had to visit the headmaster in his lunch break so he couldn’t sit with them and get introduced to the gang as Gwen affectionately had called the group of friends she and Morgana were part of. Still, it was a very good first day.

Of course this could only mean that his second day of school could only go worse and it did. He didn’t share his first period, math, with either of the girls. Instead he shared it with a big guy with reddish curly hair, whom Morgana had introduced as Leon the day before, a good friend of her brother Arthur. Merlin didn’t know Arthur yet but judging by Leon’s good natured way he couldn’t be too bad either. Sadly Leon was injured, as a member of the Camelot Knights he had broken his toe in their last match, and therefore could not attend gym class with Merlin.

Merlin had been afraid of gym class all morning. The mere thought of undressing in front of other people made him nearly puke. He only hoped he could maybe sneak off and change in the loo or something. 

But of course luck was not on his side; when he tried to sneak into the toilet in the changing room, none of the other boys seemed to pay him any attention, when one big arm blocked his way. Merlin recognized him as one of the stupid assholes Morgana had pointed out to him the day before; he thought his name started with a V, but he couldn’t remember for sure.

“Where are you sneaking off too, newbie? Afraid of changing in front of us?” He laughed as if he had just told a funny joke, his biceps bulking in front of Merlin’s face. Merlin could understand why Morgana had called him a stupid asshole.

“I just need to pee,” Merlin tried, knowing it sounded lame. V guy didn’t seem to believe him either. “Maybe you have something to hide,” he replied with a slightly evil grin.  
“Maybe he is a tranny,” one of the guys in the changing room shouted, which only made V guy laugh harder. He sounded like a pig.

“Maybe we should find out,” he said suddenly, grabbing Merlin. Merlin tried to struggle, but even without panic rising within him he would not have been able to overpower the guy; he was neither as tall nor as muscular as him. All of a sudden he felt a second pair of hands joining in, pushing on his clothes. It was the guy who had moments ago encouraged the V guy with his stupid comment; he obviously was friends with the guy who was currently grabbing him and laughing like all this was just a stupid joke for him.

Merlin didn’t feel like this was a joke; now that his clothes were getting pushed aside his whole body went into panic mode. He stopped struggling, too shocked with the events to actually do something about it. He felt tears burning in his eyes, knowing full well that showing them would only make this situation worse, but he couldn’t help it. His anxiety got the best of him in that moment; all he could do was watch in horror, as though he was outside his own body, as they manhandled him and pushed his clothes aside.

“What the hell do you think you are doing Valiant?” a loud voice suddenly rang out. Merlin hadn’t even realized that the door had opened, a bunch of guys streaming into the changing room. Merlin looked up with tears streamed cheeks, seeing four guys standing there looking angry. Merlin thought he’d seen the dark skinned one with Gwen before but he couldn’t be sure.

His four saviours stood there looking like knights in shining armor. Next to the one that Merlin thought he remembered stood a guy with longish dark hair and a rather tall and bulky looking one. But the spoken words had come from the fourth member of their group, who now stood a few feet closer to Merlin than the rest. 

He had blond hair like a prince out of a fairytale and even in the dim light of the changing room, Merlin could see he had the face to go along with it. He was beautiful, as much as a guy could be described as beautiful. He had a strong lean body and was obviously well trained as well. His hands were currently clenched into fists, looking like they may punch Merlin’s tormenter if they wouldn’t let him go soon.

“I was just jerking the newbie’s chain, isn’t that so guys.” Merlin hadn’t even realized that most guys in the changing room had starred at the spectacle without helping. Now they all looked away guiltily. Valiant – so that’s the guy’s name, thought Merlin – and his friend let go of Merlin. He quickly grabbed his clothes, twisting and nudging them back to their rightful places.

His blond savior came closer, looking dangerously at Valiant. “I know you think you are funny, but just remember this. I am the captain of the knights and if you ever pull a stunt like that again you are off my team, no matter what couch says. Understood?” He didn’t wait for Valiant’s reply before looking at Merlin.

“Are you alright? Want to come over to our bench?” he asked heading over to what looked like the bench occupied by most of the football players.

“Sorry, we couldn’t be here sooner,” the guy with the long hair said to him once he reached their space. “Leon only just told us about you having gym with us.”

“Even though we’ve known about you since yesterday,” the tall one added.

“Yeah, “long hair said. “Looks like the girls adopted you yesterday.”

“Girls?” Merlin was slightly confused. 

“Yeah, Gwen and Morgana. Gwen is Elyan’s sister,” he pointed at the dark skinned boy. So that’s the connection, Merlin thought. “I’m Gwaine, by the way, and that’s Percy,” he pointed at the tall boy. 

“And I’m Arthur,” Merlin’s savior replied. “You made quite an impression on Morgana, and let me tell you that, it’s not easy to impress my sister.”

 

***************************************

 **August 2014**.

Merlin was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, so after his second glass of wine he felt a bit tipsy. He and Arthur were sitting in their living room, nearly cuddling on the sofa, not really minding thanks to their close friendship and the alcohol.

There was a Doctor Who marathon on TV, but they had muted it. Normally Merlin would be all over the show – he was a nerd like that – but right now he didn’t mind not really seeing it. He was content with listening to Arthur ramble about his day at work; how Elena had managed to nearly staple some documents to her hand because she had been so busy ogling one of the carrier boys.

“I had to remind her that the guy was way too young for her anyway, but she only said, “Arthur, I don’t want to marry him, I just want to jump his bones.” Arthur even managed to mimic Elena’s voice at the last part. “Speaking about marrying; I can’t believe father wants to marry that…that troll! Morgana is so going to flip when she finds out.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Merlin began speaking, “but your father isn’t exactly prince charming either. Maybe they are right for each other.”

Merlin didn’t know Catrina very well; Arthur sometimes asked him if he wanted to come along to family dinners but Merlin tended to decline, so all he knew about her was what he knew from the siblings and they weren’t exactly objective. 

“How is Morgana anyway? Did you talk with her today?”

“I actually did,” Arthur said while pouring him and Merlin anther glass. “But before father told me the news, so I have to wait till she calls again. Both Leon and she are fine; enjoying their second honeymoon. Cheers mate.” They clinked their wine glasses together.

“Hawaii,” Arthur sighed after a few sips of his wine. “Must be lovely warm there right now. Where would you go on a honeymoon Merlin? And don’t tell me Wales to visit some place used in Doctor Who.”

“I don’t know, maybe Greece? Like in Mamma Mia? It’s never going happen anyway. Where would you go?”

“Probably the Maldives or Australia, they have these amazing beaches there.” A second later Arthur added, “What do you mean it’s never going happen? Why not?”

“Well, my love life doesn’t exist; I am a 25 years old virgin who will probably die a virgin because I have no love life. And I have no love life because of the virgin part…” he trailed off.

“You know, I probably shouldn’t say that but love and sex don’t necessary have to go together. You just need to find someone you can be comfortable with and that’s it.”

“I’m comfortable with you,” Merlin said after taking the last sip of the third glass of wine. He was definitely drunk; otherwise it wouldn’t make any sense to say those words.

There were both silent now, looking at each other after Merlin’s confession like they both didn’t know what came next.

“Yeah, you are.” Arthur broke the silence after a long minute. He started stroking Merlin’s cheek with one hand when suddenly his face broke into a wide grin.

“That’s it; I’ll be your first. Why didn’t we do that earlier? It’s perfect. I know your body already, so you won’t have to be embarrassed or anything and I am experienced enough to take care of you the way you need it.”

“Wait Arthur, what? Are you insane? Why would you want to sleep with me? Are you drunk?”

“I am neither and why wouldn’t I,” Arthur’s voice turned softer at the last part, he still starred in Merlin’s eyes. Merlin realized it was now or never. He leaned forward to capture Arthur’s lips in a kiss, the first kiss he ever had initiated. 

It didn’t take Arthur long to react and after a few moments of just pressing their lips together, he decided to go a bit further. Merlin could feel Arthur’s tongue stroking his upper lip before gently pushing Merlin’s lips open to slip inside. Merlin made a soft, blissful noise when their tongues met, Arthur’s hand still stroking Merlin’s cheek while his other hand lay on Merlin’s chest, just over his heart. He could feel it beating a bit quicker now, both lust and nervousness fighting each other in Merlin’s chest. Slowly Merlin’s hand also started to wander, too engaged in the whole situation to just flop useless between their bodies. He grabbed Arthur’s hips, trying to bring their bodies closer together.

Arthur stopped the kiss for a moment so they could breathe but their faces were still close together. He nudged his nose against Merlin, mumbling: “eager little bird” before plunging in again. This time their tongues met the second their lips did, their kiss no longer soft and experimenting but rather hot, like they were starving men depending on the kiss to survive. 

Arthur’s hand stopped stroking Merlin’s cheek; instead he let it fall down to Merlin’s chest so he could pull on Merlin’s t-shirt. He didn’t get rid of it though, just pushed it a bit aside, so he could stroke Merlin’s belly and the scars that were there. They slightly shifted, so instead of sitting next to each other, Arthur pushed Merlin’s body to the sofa, so he was neatly on top of him. The longer they kissed the more obvious Merlin could feel Arthur’s hard length pressing into his hip. Merlin moaned, his erection pressing into Arthur as well. Instinct took over and he started to slightly move his hips, searching for a little more friction for both of them.

Suddenly Arthur stopped; he gingerly started to separate his body from Merlin’s, leaving him whining. “Did I do something wrong?” Merlin asked, his insecurity back in full force. 

“No, no, you didn’t. Exactly the opposite. But if we don’t stop now, I’m not sure I would be able to stop myself later. And even though I am not drunk, you are not exactly sober and we shouldn’t do anything without being 100 percent sure that this is the right thing to do.”

Merlin wanted to dismiss Arthur’s idea, but now that he could breathe probably again and his head started to clear he couldn’t. Arthur was right; he’s been waiting so long for someone to touch him without him feeling sick about it, and they shouldn’t rush things. 

“What now then?” he couldn’t suppress a yawn; he was tired both from the alcohol and the emotional rollercoaster he had lived through today. 

“Now,” Arthur pressed a light kiss to Merlin’s cheek, “we both go to sleep in our own beds, and see how we feel about all this in the morning. And even if we come to the conclusion that tonight was a mistake we won’t let it ruin our friendship. You’ll always be my best mate.” Another kiss on Merlin’s cheek followed before Arthur pushed himself off the sofa to go to his bedroom.

“Just one thing,” Merlin shouted after Arthur’s retreating form while getting up himself. “What the hell were you thinking calling me a little bird?”

He could only hear Arthur’s chuckled good night before the bedroom door closed.

 

***************************************

 **March 2006**.

They were in Arthur’s room, or rather in Arthur’s suite because let’s be honest, his room was bigger than the place where Merlin lived with his mum. They had come over here after school; Arthur’s dad was once again away on some business trip, so the boys had the whole mansion to themselves. Even Morgana, Arthur’s scary older sister, was out, shopping with her friends or something. 

Since Arthur started dating Gwen the boys had spent a little less time together, which had started to annoy Merlin. Not that he was jealous or anything – Christ, who could be jealous of Gwen, the nicest, loveliest girl Merlin had ever met – but he still kind of enjoyed having just a boys’ afternoon. He and Arthur spend it doing exactly as one might imagine a boys’ afternoon, mainly playing video games; or rather, Arthur was playing, while Merlin simply tried to survive one round after the other.

He wasn’t really good at it and when they had first started playing this game about a year ago Merlin had despised it. Now he had finally gotten the hang of it, as much as an uncoordinated person like him could get the hang of it. He lost every single time but he didn’t mind much; at least he got better at losing. 

They were on the third level when Arthur startled Merlin by asking: “Well, how exactly did you realize you like guys? I mean, you didn’t just wake up one day knowing, did yah?” 

He said it without looking away from the TV screen, which made Merlin think he had imagined Arthur saying those words. 

“Merlin?” Arthur asked when Merlin didn’t react to him. He stopped the game and finally turned to Merlin. His face was curious, not a single bad emotion crossing it, which relieved Merlin. For a moment he had thought Arthur was uncomfortable with Merlin being gay, which he didn’t get at all. 

When Merlin first told Arthur he was gay some months ago, Arthur had just shrugged, told him nothing changed between them before pulling Merlin into a friendly hug, which was accompanied by a sly smile and the words, if you want to go shopping now, ask Morgana. Seeing as Merlin never had shown any interest in any guys at school or had someone showing interest in him, he wondered why Arthur suddenly brought it up.

“Well, I don’t know, I guess I just never saw girls the way most of you guys do. And then I started realizing it and, well, that was it. No big crisis or anything, just realizing I like boys better than girls. Why? Don’t tell me you suddenly turned gay?” The last bit was said with a sarcastic grin while he watched Arthur’s cheek turn light pink. Interesting. 

“No, no, not like that,” Arthur hastily replied, his hands still playing with the bits of the controller even though the game had been stopped. “I like Gwen and her girl parts, like her… well, you know what I mean. It’s just, I don’t know… when Gwaine took me to this party last week after we’d won the game, I just saw this guy and I don’t know man, got an attraction? And so I’ve been thinking, what if I’m bisexual or something like that. I mean how do I know? I love Gwen but it just got me thinking…”

It took Merlin a minute to realize Arthur had finished talking, his brain still processing what his best friend just told him. 

“Well…” It was never wrong to start a sentence like this, “I don’t know, I guess you need to find out if he was the only attraction you have for a guy or if you feel generally attracted to both you know, girl parts and male… well.”

Merlin sucked at giving advice, he knew. Why Arthur thought to ask him as an expert in all things attraction, when he had never ever so much as held hands with another person, was beyond him.

“Just stay with Gwen as long as you are happy and if you ever happen to break up, just see what comes next.” Merlin added to his last statement. “I know it’s not much advice…”

“It’s all right, Merlin,” Arthur interrupted him. “Thanks for listening, I guess. You are a great friend, you know that?” He wasn’t, he thought, not compared to Arthur, who in the last few years had done more for Merlin than Merlin could ever repay him for, least of all with this short conversation. 

But before he could say any of that, Arthur had already turned back to the TV and started the game again, obviously having felt that he had talked enough about his feelings. Merlin followed suit, still thinking about what Arthur just said.

 

***************************************

 **August 2014**.

Getting up the next morning, Merlin was afraid things might now be awkward between him and Arthur. He was sure that sleeping a night on it Arthur must have realized how silly and stupid his idea had been yesterday and that in no way would he continue what they started.

Instead Arthur was waiting in the kitchen for Merlin, looking not at all like a man who stayed up late and drank half a bottle of wine yesterday. He was inhaling his coffee while the machine was already making one for Merlin as well.

“Breakfast?” he asked pointed at the cereal box standing next to him.

“Na, not hungry. I’m going to eat at the shop. Freya promised to bring some of her homemade cookies to work.” Merlin was a sucker for those cookies; they reminded him of his mum and all the tasty stuff she had used to bake when he grew up. 

“So, about last night…” Arthur began while finishing his cereals. “I stand by what I said. Offer’s still there and to be honest, I really think we should do it. Not just for your sake. I’d like to get some action as well without actually having to look for it after work.”

Merlin was pretty sure the last part was untrue and Arthur had only said it so it wouldn’t sound like he was doing Merlin a favour. In all those years Arthur never had to look too hard to find someone, whether it was a date or a hookup. Arthur looked like a Greek god and the suits he normally wore to work were not hiding it at all.

Merlin didn’t quite know why Arthur wanted to do it but if he was honest with himself, last night had been amazing. Having someone to kiss and touch without having to think about what they would think once they saw him without his clothes had been intoxicating. He wanted that again. No, that was not quite true, he wanted more than that and Arthur was willing to give him more.

“I really liked kissing you,” Merlin confessed after a minute. “And I’d really like to do it again. And more maybe.” He knew he was blushing, but Arthur pretended to not see it.

“Good,” Arthur said, putting his coffee mug in the dishwasher along with the bowl and spoon he had used for the cereals. “I’m off to work now, see you tonight.”

He quickly grabbed Merlin on his way to the front door to press a quick kiss on his lips. It wasn’t a kiss like any they had shared last night; it was a sweet, gently one without any agenda. Just an `I like you´ and goodbye kiss. Arthur’s lips were gone before Merlin really could appreciate them.

“See you later,” he replied, not sure if Arthur could even hear him.

 

***************************************

 

Later turned out be much later because Arthur got stuck at the office, finishing some reports. Meanwhile Merlin had decided to act like this was a normal, everyday evening, which meant he started to cook. He wasn’t the best cook in the world but his mum had taught him a few things, enough that he and Arthur actually enjoyed homemade dinner every now and then instead of takeaway. 

Tonight he decided on spaghetti with some secret Emrys family recipe sauce, which basically means adding all kind of stuff that he had found lying around in their kitchen. It was easily made and could be reheated just as easily if Arthur had to stay at the officer longer than he wanted to.

He was just about to turn the oven off when he heard the front door opening and Arthur’s exhausted voice calling out, “Darling, I’m home.”

It was an inside joke between them; Arthur first said it when they had moved into the flat together. People assumed they were a couple when they, fresh out of University, had decided to stay roommates and rented the flat. Now it felt a bit weird hearing Arthur calling him darling, seeing how their situation and relationship had changed in the last 24 hours.

“Mhm, that smells fantastic!” Arthur exclaimed once he entered the kitchen. “Is that your mum’s family receipt?”

Merlin only nodded, shooing Arthur’s hand away from the stove. “Wait till it’s ready. I was just about to get the table done.”

“Nah, let’s eat on the sofa, I’m knackered. Work was hell today. I can’t wait for Morgana to get back tomorrow.”

So they silently ate on the sofa, Doctor Who running in the background, this time with sound. Even though they had both seen the episode before, Merlin was engrossed; so engrossed he nearly jumped out of his skin when Arthur decided to kiss his neck. Arthur had to suppress a chuckle at Merlin’s reaction. 

“What? You thought I was one of the aliens?”

“If that meant the Doctor would come running into our flat.”

“Merlin, Merlin, Merlin,” Arthur said, sounding not nearly as irritated as he pretended to be.

“So you want to talk about work?” Merlin tried to change the conversation.

“Like I said, work was hell. There’s lots of stuff to do and since Morgana is away everyone seems to think I need to do her work as well. “

Arthur had finished eating and put his dishes on their small table next to the sofa. He took Merlin’s dishes as well. 

“I don’t want to talk about work though, I’d rather kiss you.” 

So he gently pressed his lips against Merlin’s, both of them still seated next to each other on the same sofa as last night, and just like last night the kiss started as something soft and nice, barely more than a little peck. Or more like several pecks, first to Merlin’s lips, then his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, even to his ticklish ears which made Merlin laugh slightly.

Then Arthur’s lips came back to Merlin’s mouth, kissing him in earnest this time. Gently biting Merlin’s lower lip, he pushed his strong hands under Merlin’s shirt, another Doctor Who one. He found one of Merlin’s nipples and pinched it, making Merlin moan out loud. Arthur used this moment to push his tongue in, finding Merlin’s and stroking it. Merlin, after being blissed out for a moment, started to push against Arthur, his tongue starting to fight Arthur’s for dominance. 

This time Arthur was the one doing the moaning, incredibly turned on by Merlin’s enthusiasm. He tore himself away from Merlin’s lips, which left Merlin disappointed for a moment, before bringing them to Merlin’s neck. 

This time his kisses were bruising, with tiny bites in between, to which Merlin reacted with tiny, needy noises that made Arthur even harder than he already was.

“Off,” he said, pushing Merlin’s t-shirt up a bit more so they could get rid of it. Merlin lifted his arms, but the t-shirt got caught on one of Merlin’s ears.

Arthur huffed a laugh, “Your ears.”

“I know, bloody big,” Merlin replied, grinning.

“But bloody lovely as well,”Arthur grinned back.

After getting rid of the shirt Arthur kissed the offending ear. At first Merlin had to giggle, he was ticklish like that; but soon Arthur found the right spot to bite into, making Merlin moan louder than before.

Arthur looked up, taking a look at Merlin’s chest, while he gently pushed him to lie down on the sofa. Arthur knew what Merlin’s chest looked like, knew why Merlin was insecure about it. The terrible accident he had been in years ago had left him with several, in Merlin’s opinion ugly, scars. The biggest one was slightly darker than his natural skin tone and started just below Merlin’s collarbone, low enough to be hidden beneath a t-shirt, and stretched across Merlin’s abdomen. 

There were several scarred parts all over his chest where the fire had burned his skin, making a mess of Merlin’s chest and leaving the flesh insensitive to the touch. There was another one starting at his hip and disappearing into his jeans; they all had come from pieces of glass and metal that had penetrated his body at the crash. His chest was hairless, except for the few single wisps around his nipples, looking even darker against his pale skin than they probably were.

Merlin’s breath hitched and his heartbeat stuttered the longer Arthur looked at his chest, his cheeks tomato red. Then Arthur pressed his lips to Merlin’s collarbone, kissing his scar in the progress. He kissed down Merlin’s chest, following the scar. When he reached the spot over Merlin’s heart he murmured, “Don’t let anyone ever tell you they are ugly. They are a sign or your survival,” before kissing a nipple. The moans that had started once Arthur started kissing his chest grew louder, more so when Arthur gently bit one nipple while his hand started playing with the other one.

“Arthur, please,” was all Merlin could say, even though he wasn’t sure what he was asking for. He was blinded by lust and Arthur’s knowing hands, which treated his scars like they were something to be proud of, not ashamed.

“What, Merlin? Tell me what you want,” Arthur didn’t want to do anything Merlin wouldn’t want him to do. He may be the more experienced one but he wanted Merlin to call the shots; after all, this was the first time anyone had ever touched Merlin. Arthur was slightly impressed that Merlin hadn’t come yet; he was pretty sure the first time he felt anyone’s hands on him he had creamed his pants in seconds.

“I want your hands not just there,” Merlin breathily confessed, blushing again.

“Oh, so you want my hands down there,”Arthur mimicked Merlin with a smirk before kissing his chest again. He did so a few more moments until Merlin felt like he would go insane if Arthur didn’t give him what he wanted; especially when Arthur started to teasingly kiss Merlin’s belly and bellybutton but still didn’t make any move to go lower.

“For Christ’s sake Arthur, touch me,” Merlin sputtered out, too gone with lust to care about how he sounded. He wanted – no, he needed more.

Arthur seemed to get the message because the next thing he felt was Arthur’s lips crushing his while Arthur’s hands pulled down Merlin’s zipper. Slowly he pushed down his jeans and boxers down in one go, not giving into teasing Merlin further. 

The first touch of Arthur’s hands made him nearly come. A load moan escaped his lips, only audible because Arthur had lifted his head to see where his hand had landed. Merlin’s dick was just like the rest of his body, long and slender. He was not quite as thick as Arthur but Arthur was still impressed by what Merlin had been hiding all these years.

“Damn, you look fine,” he said, looking at his hands; one of them had a strong hold on Merlin, the other wandering down his pubes to touch Merlin’s balls. 

“You like that?” Merlin could only nod in reply, bringing Arthur’s mouth back to his, their teeth clashing but neither of them caring. Merlin was so close to coming, feeling the pressure build in his spine, his balls drawing nearer to his body. Suddenly he felt one of Arthur’s hands wander a bit further back, touching the sensitive skin behind his balls. The other one was now holding Merlin’s face. Once the hand returned to Merlin’s cock, stroking up and down with exactly the right amount of pressure, just like how Merlin did it when he was alone, Merlin was gone. 

His orgasm hit him, making his whole body fall apart. He shouted Arthur’s name while riding out the most intense climax he had ever had. He vaguely registered his spunk covering Arthur’s hand and his own trousers.

He collapsed, too lazy to even kiss Arthur again. All he could do was breathe heavily and lie there, spent, his heart beating like it wanted to escape his chest. After he managed to get his breathing under control he finally started to register his surroundings.

Arthur was sitting up, his hands still covered with Merlin’s come, and just looking at him. Only now Merlin saw that Arthur was still fully clothed, his suit trousers obviously tented. He was breathing heavily with sweat-drenched hair stuck to his forehead.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I was so focused on getting myself off, I completely didn’t think about you.” Merlin confessed, ashamed.

“Don’t worry,” Arthur smiled down at him, wiping his hands clean on his now sweaty work shirt. “You were so hot.”

Merlin blushed again. Arthur thought he had been hot?

He grabbed Arthur’s tie to bring him closer again, starting to unbutton his shirt. “Shit, Merlin you don’t need to do anything,”Arthur said, cheeks tinged pink. 

“But I want to,” Merlin replied, touching Arthur’s now exposed chest. He was muscular and had blond hair, roughly the same colour as the hair on his head, covering his muscled chest before it narrowed down to a delicious looking treasure trail, which disappeared under his trousers. “Besides, what did you say about it being not only for my benefit? About wanting some action?” Merlin teased him.

He flipped them over, so that he now straddled Arthur’s hips. Merlin leaned over, pressing his lips to Arthur’s nipples, mimicking what Arthur had done to him minutes before. A light bite and he could here Arthur moan.

“Merlin —” Merlin had never thought he would ever hear anyone say his name that way; like it was a prayer, something that needed to be said. He felt powerful in that moment; powerful because he made Arthur — beautiful, godlike Arthur — make those noises and push his hips forward, hoping for some friction. Powerful, because Arthur let him do whatever he wanted with Arthur’s body. And Merlin wanted to explore. 

Not only had he never been touched, but he also never had the chance to touch someone before. So he took his sweet little time finding out what Arthur liked. Judging by the noises Arthur made he seemed to enjoy Merlin playing with his nipples, kissing, biting, licking them. He enjoyed Merlin’s nails scratching his pecs, leaving tiny pink marks under his golden hair. Merlin bit Arthur’s abdominal muscles next only slightly. Arthur had amazing abs. 

One of his hands found Arthur’s bulge, palming it through the trousers. Arthur huskily murmured Merlin’s name again, making the whole thing even hotter. Licking the skin just over the edge of Arthur’s trousers, he started to open Arthur’s belt, which as it turned out was not as easy as it always looked in porn.

“Damn, it’s stuck,” he complained, annoyed.

“Here, let me,” Arthur lent him a hand, making quick work of the annoying piece of clothing. Next were his trousers, which Merlin managed to get down to his knees before Arthur kicked them further down and out of the way. There was a wet patch on Arthur’s boxers, showing how much precome he had already leaked. Slowly he pushed the last piece of clothing out of the way. 

He stopped for a minute and just looked at Arthur, appreciating the view. He had seen Arthur naked or semi-naked before, but never like this, with his chest tinted red and his cock hard. Arthur wasn’t quite as long but Merlin, but he was definitely thicker. His golden curls were a darker blond than the rest of his body hair, building a nest for his imposing cock, which was lying on his abs, leaking all over them. After saving that mental image for wank fantasies later, he finally touched Arthur. Arthur moaned loudly and Merlin could see his eyes rolling back. Watching Arthur like this made him hard again.

Arthur grabbed him then, bringing him down for hot, feverish kisses, bringing both their bodies and hard dicks close to each other. Merlin hissed, still a bit sensitive from his last orgasm, but couldn’t help but push against Arthur, their hips finding a rhythm just as their lips did. Arthur kept murmuring Merlin’s name between kisses, followed by a husky “I’m close.”

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s ass, intensifying the pressure between them. It was all too much; Merlin knew he would come again soon and when he felt Arthur still for a moment before crying out Merlin’s name, he did. They both climaxed at nearly the same time, bringing each other to come with each uncoordinated thrust and moan.

Merlin collapsed on Arthur’s chest, too weak to hold himself up anymore. They both tried to catch their breath, while Arthur shifted so that they lay next to each other. “And that,” Arthur said between heavy breaths, “was just the beginning.” 

 

***************************************

 

The next morning was a bit awkward, though it had nothing to do with last night and more to do what they did afterwards. After catching their breath and cleaning themselves up they both had disappeared into their own beds, letting their own thoughts run wild.

“I think the next time we should do it in a bed. The sofa definitely isn’t the best for my neck,” Arthur said instead of a good morning. “Plus we can go to sleep there as well instead of awkwardly dance around each other afterwards.”

The last part made Merlin laugh. “Gosh and here I thought I was the only one who thought it was kind of weird going to sleep like we did yesterday,” and with that everything was as usual. Arthur made him coffee with lots of sugar and milk, because Merlin had the worst case of sweet tooth, and they ate their cereal in silence while reading different parts of the newspaper.

“Oh I nearly forgot. Tonight is Gwen’s dinner party. Should I pick you up at the bookshop so we can go together?”

“Sure, if you get out of the office in time.” Merlin was only kidding. It was a Friday, so the chances that Arthur would manage to leave on time, or at least take his work home with him instead of staying late at the office, were high.

“Good, I’ll pick you up at five.”

 

***************************************

 **December 2009**.

Dinner parties at Gwen’s had first started when she met Lance. Even though she and Arthur had split up before they even graduated and had managed to stay friends, she still wanted to make sure everybody would be ok with Lance dating her. Therefore she invited the whole gang: Arthur, Merlin, Leon, Morgana, Gwaine, Percy, and her brother Elyan. As expected Arthur showed up with Merlin in tow along with a girl named Vivian, whom he apparently was dating at the moment.

“What happened to Sophia?” she asked Merlin once she caught him alone.

“Don’t ask. Since you and Arthur broke up all he does is date crazies. You remember Cenred, who thought dating Arthur would help him land by Morgana? Well, Sophia was worse; turns out she was part of a cult and she tried to get Arthur to join as well!”

“And Vivian?” Gwen asked, watching the blond in question actually complain about the state of the flat.

“She’s just an annoying bitch. Hopefully Arthur will get the sex he obviously needs and dump her.”

Gwen could only shake her head at that, but judging from what she had seen so far, Merlin was right.

“Ok, since everybody is here now,” she announced a few minutes later, “let me officially introduce you to Lance, my new boyfriend. Be gentle!” She blushed.

“Oh we are, but let’s hope he is not too gently, we don’t want the sex to turn boring.” Gwaine’s comment was typical for him and only managed to make Gwen blush even more. 

Morgana punched him the arm, before zeroing her gaze in on Lance, obviously contemplating if he was worthy of Gwen. They had all had heard of him before; since their first meeting Gwen had been unable to shut up about the handsome photographer.

“Is he as rich as Arthur,” Vivian, the cow, actually said. Thank god Arthur and the rest ignored her. Instead, Arthur walked over to Lance. “You seem like a nice guy and Gwen obviously likes you, but if you hurt her, the knights will personally emasculate you. Understood?”

If only he knew, he never needed to worry about that.

 

***************************************

 **August 2014**.

“Hello everyone,” Arthur called into the living room full of people; He and Merlin seemed to be the last to arrive.

Over the years the group had grown; apart from the original circle there were now Elena, who had driven here by herself; Mordred, whom Merlin had met at a literature lecture at Uni; Mithian, whom Percy’s been seeing for the last few months; and the newest member, the baby growing in Gwen’s belly. Even though she was seven months pregnant she still didn’t want anyone to know the gender of her child, so the rest of the gang had started a bet; whoever loses has to babysit.

“How are you,” Merlin asked Gwen while laying a hand on her belly, just as he had done with Arthur’s chest last night. He felt the tips of his ears going red at the memory.

“Fine, of course Lance has to do more of the household these days because he won’t let me do anything.”

“Not anything, I let you cook today, didn’t I?” Lance approached, giving Merlin a quick hug.

“Only because you knew I would have done it anyway. This will probably the last time for some while for our tradition, I couldn’t let someone else take over.”

Merlin and Lance only nodded. 

“You want to tell me why your ears are burning, Merlin?” Gwen asked teasingly once Lance went into the kitchen to look if dinner was ready to be served.

“Nothing,” Merlin quickly lied. “I’m just hot.”

Still, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander, looking for Arthur, who was standing next to the liquor cabinet with his sister. Morgana has only arrived back home this morning but like everyone else she and Leon didn’t want to miss out on their traditional group dinners. Judging by the look on her face Arthur just told her the news about Uther’s marriage plans. She looked shocked, then angry and crossed out, just as Merlin had expected.

“Everybody to the table, please,” Lance announced then. “Dinner is ready.”

Dinner was delicious as always. Gwen had decided to cook the same thing as she had cooked the first time, bringing the tradition to a full circle. They were still unsure who would take over the tradition, at least until Gwen could host again; Gwaine had suggested he could do it, but they all knew this would mean lots of alcohol and no food, so they gratefully declined. 

“I can’t believe he is really marrying that troll,” Morgana broke the silence, deciding that everyone should know about the doom hovering above the Pendragon family.

“Maybe she isn’t as bad as you always thought and will show you some good side soon,” Gwen, always the diplomat, tried to defuse the situation.

“Still; I don’t want to have that woman as a grandmother for my child.”

Everybody fell silent. “Well, that’s actually not the way we planned on telling you guys,” Leon said, taking his wife’s hand in his hand.

“Does that mean…?” Percy for once managed to find his words first.

“Yes, Leon and I are pregnant. We found out just before Hawaii.” Morgana was radiating happiness with each uttered word.

“I’m going to be an uncle,” Arthur stammered astonished.

Before anyone could say anything else Gwen nearly jumped over the table in her hurry to hug Morgana.

“Oh my gosh, we’re pregnant together. This is so great. I can show you all the good stores and you can have all my pregnancy books and oh my god, this is so great. Our children will grow up together.” 

Everybody laughed at Gwen’s excitement, even Morgana who normally was a no bullshit kind of woman. “Yes dear little brother, you will be an uncle.” She said as she hugged an overexcited Gwen.

“You all will be,” she added fondly at their group of friends.

“Yes, another one to debauch,” Gwaine said, making everyone laugh again.

“Is this the right moment to tell you that I and Percy are planning to move in together?” Mithian added and another round of laughter started.

 

***************************************

 

The next few days were spent pretty much the same; after work Merlin and Arthur would eat dinner, unless they had other plans, before heading to either one of the bedrooms were all their sexy times had happened after their first night.

They were in the middle of making out, Arthur’s shirt unbuttoned and Merlin without a shirt when Arthur murmured in Merlin’s ear “I think we should try to go a bit further.” 

“Further?”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking, do you want a blowjob?”

The way Arthur seemingly casually said it made Merlin pause. “What?!” his voice sounded one octave higher.

“Yeah, seems like the next step, what do you think?” Arthur said, hoping Merlin would agree.

Arthur had never been the greatest fan of giving blowjobs, only saw it as part of a deal – if you want some, you should give some – but now he really wanted to give Merlin one. To be the first person to show Merlin that kind of pleasure was intoxicating, as so often before with Merlin and the act of giving, showing was even more erotic than taking for Arthur.  
He knew Merlin was shocked by the question, his thoughts obviously never going so far, but Arthur thought he had to bring it up. What they did has to be Merlin’s decision.

Merlin was too shocked to answer. He had, of course, often dreamt about receiving a blowjob – what guy hasn’t – but the thought of Arthur doing that for him was just too hot to imagine. His dick hardened further at the mental images emerging in his mind; images of Arthur’s plump, kissable lips wrapped around his length, his tongue teasing, images of grabbing Arthur’s golden hair and receiving more pleasure. 

After a few more moments of silently kissing each other, Merlin whispered yes against Arthur’s lips. That was all the encouragement Arthur needed. Within minutes he got rid of his shirt as well as Merlin’s trousers. His lips wandered down Merlin’s neck, loving the taste of his skin. Somehow Merlin managed to taste of sunshine and strawberries, the latter one coming from the shower gel he loved so much. Merlin’s scars felt a bit rough under his hands, a feeling he had gotten used to over the last few nights. 

Merlin shivered under him when Arthur bit one of his nipples on his way down. Merlin’s hands grabbed his shoulders, once again leaving tiny red marks on them.Arthur loved those marks; they showed how much of an enthusiastic lover Merlin was, always eager to learn, to touch, to feel.

The feeling of Arthur’s mouth on his nipples was heaven and Merlin could only imagine what those lips would feel like on his cock. Gosh, he wanted that so badly.  
For a moment Arthur stopped at Merlin’s belly, his tongue teasingly dipping into his belly button, which made Merlin moan and giggle at the same time. It relaxed him a bit; Arthur had felt how he had tensed when Arthur had wandered lower with his lips.

“Are you alright?” he breathed against the skin on Merlin’s lower belly. “Are you sure about this?” Of course Merlin was sure. Now that he managed to overcome his fear of physical intimacy he wanted to try everything.

The first touch of Arthur’s lips nearly made Merlin jump out of his skin. A loud moan escaped him before he could hold it in. Arthur managed to get most of Merlin’s dick in his mouth and started to move up and down, his tongue tracing the veins on Merlin’s dick while doing so. Gosh, that felt good.

Arthur didn’t anticipate Merlin to taste so good but just like the rest of him Arthur enjoyed the taste of him there. He was glad Merlin wasn’t too thick; he had no problem with the length. Growing up with Morgana and living through her pranks had made his gag reflex disappear, so he could swallow most of Merlin’s dick down, his nose touching Merlin’s dark pubic hair. His smell was intoxicating, just like his taste.

Merlin was nearly gone with lust when he felt Arthur massaging his balls, rolling them between his hands. Merlin could come from just that feeling alone. He helplessly buried his hands in Arthur’s golden hair, pulling him closer.

Arthur enjoyed the feeling of Merlin fucking his mouth. It was so fucking hot; all he could do was thrust his still clothed hips against the bed sheets, hoping for some pressure. He let one of his fingers, wet from the saliva dropping down Merlin’s balls, wander further back. Merlin seemed to enjoy it when he toyed with the skin behind his balls; it made him twitch widely. Now Arthur wanted to know if Merlin would enjoy it if he went a bit further. He started to rub against Merlin’s rim, gently, without pushing. Just stroking and touching him there while his tongue still played with Merlin’s dick.

Merlin didn’t know what felt more amazing, Arthur’s mouth on his cock or his finger playing with his rim. In the end it was both that brought him towards orgasm. He tried to warn Arthur when he felt his climax rising, but he couldn’t form a single coherent sentence. He was sure Arthur understood though, even though he kept sucking like his life depended on it. It became all too much when Merlin felt Arthur’s finger gently dipping in, opening him up. The lust that washed over him nearly blinded him, hot white pleasure chased through his body wave after wave when he emptied himself inside Arthur’s mouth.

Arthur knew Merlin would come any minute now, but he couldn’t stop; he wanted Merlin to come in his mouth. He was frantically pushing against the sheets, too close to orgasm himself to stop. He didn’t care if he came in his trousers like a horny teenager; he only wanted to feel his release. When Merlin’s orgasm hit him all he could do was swallow Merlin down; the salty taste of Merlin pushed him over the edge as well, and he join Merlin in his bliss.

He stopped sucking Merlin once he became too sensitive to enjoy it, so he lay himself down next to Merlin, their arms touching, both breathing heavily. Their sweaty skin glistered in the moonlight that shone through the windows of Arthur’s bedroom.

“God. That. Was. Amazing.” was all Merlin could say, followed by a disbelieving “Did you just come in your pants?”

 

***************************************

 

The following weekend Hunith came for a visit. Merlin’s mum had moved back to Ealdor after Merlin had finished University. Now that he was earning his own money, she no longer needed to stay in the city with her better earning job. She had moved back, hoping to find solitude in the village she grew up in and wanting to be closer to where Balinor was buried. She never remarried, Balinor being her only love. Merlin couldn’t quite understand why his mum had wanted to move back – most memories too painful for him to follow – but he visited from time to time. However more often she visited him in the city.

Arthur picked her up at the train station, first because he was the one with the driver’s license, Merlin still traumatized by the accident and so never getting his own license, and second because Merlin was running some last minute errands for the weekend.

Hunith hugged Arthur close when she saw him; she always had treated him like a second son. She hadn’t changed a bit, still looking younger than she was, now more than ever as she seemed to have found her inner peace in Ealdor.

“Tell me, how are you my boy,” she asked while Arthur carried her suitcase to the car.

“Good, as always. Nothing changed much.” Which of course was a lie, but he couldn’t tell Hunith he had started sleeping with her son.

On the way to the flat they exchanged a few of their most recent stories. Arthur told her about his father’s upcoming marriage and Hunith told him about the death of her old boss and that she was thinking about taking over the shop.

“Mum,” Merlin smiled when they arrived at the flat, hugging her close as if he was still a child and not two heads taller than her. Moments like this still made Arthur envious. His father had never been a warm person and he sometimes wondered about what he had missed.

“Hunith, you can sleep in Merlin’s bedroom, he’ll be staying in mine with me for the weekend.” Arthur started to carry her stuff to the appointed bedroom.

“Oh, I hope I’m not intruding, I can sleep on the sofa,” Hunith replied.

“Don’t be silly, Mum. Arthur and I don’t mind sharing. It’s not like it’s the first time and it won’t be forever.”

Of course she didn’t know that in the last two weeks he had spent every night in Arthur’s bed, blissed out after their amazing sex.

“If you insist.”

 

***************************************

 

“So tell me boys, how are your love lives doing?”

They were sitting at the kitchen table, playing board games after they had finished the meal Hunith had cooked for them. So far Hunith seemed to win every game.

“Ahm, nothing much,” Arthur answered first, both men hoping they didn’t show what was truly going on by blushing.

“I don’t want to be nosy, I just worry. About both of you boys. You are too young and handsome to be alone.”

“We are not alone,” Merlin finally said. “We have each other.”

“That is true,” Hunith said in a tone that might suspect there was more going on than the eye could see, but she didn’t push. She wasn’t one to push, rather being one to hug someone afterwards when things turned sour or good.

“Uno,” she called, bringing all their minds back to the game.

 

***************************************

 

That night Merlin and Arthur lay next to each other in Arthur’s bed, both not daring to move first. They had wordlessly decided to not make out with each other as long as Hunith would be staying with them and only now did they realize that for the first time since they had started whatever it is what was going on between them they had to spend time with each other without touching. 

Sure, they were touching, but just in a friendly way, like in old times. 

“Would it weird if we would still cuddle, even without the sex?” Merlin asked. Arthur had to stop himself from laughing at the whiney tone of Merlin’s voice, glad that he had spoken first.

“No, it wouldn’t.” Arthur positioned Merlin to his side so he could hug him close. Merlin rested his head on Arthur’s strong chest now, feeling his heartbeat beating a lullaby for Merlin to fall asleep to. “He could get used to this, to falling asleep with Arthur without even making out first” was his last coherent thought before sleep took over.

Arthur watched Merlin’s eyes fall close and he could hear his breathing even out. He looked so peaceful when he slept, the demons from his past that would often show through his eyes now gone. Arthur’s heart was nearly bursting with emotions he couldn’t and didn’t even want to identify because they scared him. He brushed a good night kiss against Merlin’s forehead before his eyes closed and he fell asleep as well.

 

***************************************

 

Before they knew it the weekend was over and they were once again at the train station, this time together.

They were seated at a tiny table at the coffee shop, waiting for Hunith’s train. They had left the flat earlier than they had needed to, afraid of the city traffic; now they still had half an hour before Hunith’s train would leave for Ealdor.

“Thank you my dear,” she said after Arthur had put down the cup of hot chocolate in front of her. As always he insisted on paying for all their drinks.

“You’re welcome.”

“So Mum, have you decided yet if you want to take over the shop?” Merlin asked after Arthur had put down his cup as well.

Hunith had spent most of the weekend thinking about that decision and after seeing both her boys happily enjoying their work, even if it meant having more responsibilities and working overtime sometimes, she concluded that taking over the shop was the right thing to do. It felt right and so she told her boys about her decision as well as the ideas she had for the shop’s future.

“You know, if you need any help, just call. Merlin and I wouldn’t mind coming to Ealdor.”

“Thank you, darling. I will keep that in mind.” 

She was glad Arthur was in Merlin’s life. It had made their family situation more bearable, knowing that Merlin had someone to go to that wasn’t necessarily his mother. It had also allowed her to go back to her roots without being afraid for Merlin’s well being.

Just then the speakers announced her train entering the platform. She finished her hot chocolate, too sweet in her opinion but she understood why Merlin liked it so much, and went over to the platform. Arthur and Merlin followed, still carrying her things.

“Take care of each other my boys,” she said; hugging them both equally close once she stood in front of the train’s doors. “And tell your sister my congratulations on her baby.”

“We will,” they both said simultaneously, which led to them bursting out laughing.

She took her suitcase from Arthur, smiling proudly at her grown up boys.

“Call us once you arrive home.” Merlin recovered from his fit of laughter and kissing her cheek goodbye one last time.

“I will,” she reassured them and entered the train.

My boys, she thought as she sat down in her assigned seat, waving them through the train’s window as the train slowly left the station. They really thought she didn’t know.

 

***************************************

 **September 2014**.

The next few weeks were so eventful, they didn’t have time to do more than fumble around a bit. The marriage preparations drove both siblings insane, ending with quite a few pints out with the gang to calm them down.

“Did you see how Gwaine and Elena are behaving?” Leon asked them over the loud music. They were at the Rising Sun, a pub they had discovered back when they were in their first year of University and it quickly became their typical hangout spot. 

Morgana was busy talking to Gwen about baby stuff, both of them sticking to juice. The whole gang was excited, any day now Gwen could pop and the newest member of the gang would be born. Lance never let his wife out of his sight in case it happened at that very moment.

“Yeah,” Merlin had to nearly shout to be heard over the music coming from the live band performing. “Looks like they’re flirting.”

“Gwaine and Elena? No way!” Arthur just couldn’t imagine Gwaine hooking up with someone like Elena. She was intelligent and funny and he tended to hook up with bimbos.  
“Yes way! And don’t tell me they wouldn’t fit, the way they talk about football? Match made in heaven.” Arthur couldn’t reply because the next thing the three men heard was Gwen’s “shit”, which was an unusual thing to hear. Gwen didn’t swear often.

“I think my water just broke,” she said looking down her legs.

“Your water? But the birth date is in three weeks,” Elyan clearly sounded worried about his sister.

Lance was already looking for his keys while the rest of the gang reacted instinctively. Percy and Mithian ran for the bar to cover the bill, and Mordred fetched a waiter to tell him about the water on the floor.

Arthur took the keys from Lance. “I’ll drive; you are too excited; you’ll get in an accident.”

No one dared to disagree. Together they brought Gwen to the car. Arthur, Merlin, Lance and Gwen got in; the others ran to their own cars to follow.  
The drive to the hospital wasn’t long; still, the dramatic atmosphere in the car was palpable. Arthur tried to drive as fast as possible without being reckless, whereas both Lance and Merlin tried to calm Gwen down when her contractions started. 

Soon they were at the hospital. Morgana, who had managed to arrive before them, had already been told what was going on, so Gwen was pushed into a wheelchair the minute they entered.

“Who is the father?” the nurse asked, clearly lost with so many people surrounding Gwen.

“I am,” Lance came forward, squeezing Gwen’s hand.

“Come with me, sir,” the nurse said before addressing the rest. “You can wait in the waiting room.”

“Guys, you don’t have to…” Lance started. 

“But we will. We all want to know who won the bet.” Gwaine said and the last thing they saw was both Lance and Gwen smiling while going with the nurse.

 

***************************************

 

They’ve been here for three hours now and poor Gwen was still in labour. They were all exhausted and some of them had even decided to call in sick at work tomorrow.  
Mithian fell asleep on Percy’s shoulder, and Percy was quietly talking to Gwaine. Elena chatted with Mordred; or rather, she chatted while he tried to get a word in edgewise. Morgana and Leon set by each other, both lost in their own thoughts, probably thinking about their own pregnancy. Elyan tried to get one of the nurses to give him some information, so far without any real success.

Arthur just came back from the vending machine, handing Merlin a disgusting tasting coffee. He knew Merlin’s anxiety level had to be over the top. Since his accident he hated hospitals and being stuck in one for hours made him even more anxious. Still, he wouldn’t leave without knowing how Gwen, Lance and the baby were. They were as much his family as his mum was.

“Hi,” he said softly to Merlin, not knowing what else to say.

“Hi,” Merlin said back.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m not the one pushing a living thing out of my body, so I would go with yes.”

“Haha, you’re so funny, Merlin.”

“I am, aren’t I?”

They were silent again.

“Do you want to go outside? Get a bit of fresh air?” Arthur asked after a few moments of silence.

“Nah, I’m good,” Merlin replied. “Besides I think it might help staying here. Replacing the bad memories with newer, better ones.”

“Sounds about right.” Arthur sat down beside Merlin.

Still, Merlin’s mind travelled back to the last time he spent time in a hospital.

 

***************************************

 **May 2004**.

The first thing Merlin saw was white. White walls, white machines, white windows, white… he fell asleep again before he could register any more white things.

The second time he woke up he not only registered his white surroundings but also the beeping coming from the white machines.

“Mum,” he sleepily asked, his voice sounding foreign, like it hadn’t been properly used in some time.

“Merlin,” he could see her now, but his vision was blurred. His body felt dull and he didn’t know why. Were those tears running down his mum’s cheeks?

“Mum, why are you crying?” He fell asleep again before she could answer.

The third time he woke up, he stayed wide awake. His vision was still slightly blurred but he could see the different white coloured objects now. The beeping sound came from a machine that had been connected with his body, and his body no longer felt numb. Instead he felt pain; not enough to really hurt, but enough to make him feel it. The pain was mostly covering his chest. Merlin tried to look up but he couldn’t see much.

Where was he? Where were his parents? Panic started to rise in his chest and one of the machines started beeping with the rhythm of his heartbeat. A woman came into his room running; she looked like a nurse and she tried to calm him down. Was he in a hospital?

“Where is my mum?” he asked, panic clearly audible in his voice. 

“I’m here darling. I just went to the toilet.” At the sight of his mother entering his room his panic subsided.

“Where is dad?” he asked next. His mother came closer, tears running down her face. She took Merlin’s hand in hers. He saw that there was a needle and a small tube leading to a bottlelike object stuck in his own hand.

“Oh my boy, you were in an accident. I thought I lost you. You’ve been in a coma for two weeks now. I thought I lost you, like I lost your dad.” And then Merlin remembered.

 

***************************************

 **September 2014**.

“Do you all belong to Mrs. and Mr. du Lac?” a nurse suddenly asked, effectively ending Merlin’s trip down memory lane.

“Yes,” they all pretty much answered at the same time.

“Well, I just came to tell you that both mother and baby are fine.”

“So, is it a boy?” Gwaine asked first.

“Actually it’s a girl,” Lance said, entering the room.

Half of the group groaned, now doomed with babysitting duties.

“You want to come with me to say hello to Kara?”

“Sir, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Your wife just…,” the nurse tried to stop them.

“Gwen wouldn’t mind; they are family, “and so he lead them all to Gwen’s room so they could say hello to little Kara du Lac. Mordred seemed to be especially smitten with the little one.

 

***************************************

 

Once home neither Arthur nor Merlin were awake enough to do anything but fall into bed next to each other. Even though they both reeked of pub, alcohol and smoke they were too tired to shower now. Their alarm would go off in a little more than two hours. Merlin wanted to die of exhaustion. 

“She is so tiny,” Arthur said sleepily, burying his face in the pillow like he always did.

“And so beautiful. Tell me, Merlin could you ever imagine having something so precious in your life?” Merlin was glad he fell asleep before he could answer, because the answer was yes, he could imagine that. And the fact that he could imagine that with Arthur at his side frightened him more than anything.

 

***************************************

 

Getting up and going to work the next morning was not an easy task. With only two hours of sleep neither one was looking forward to work. At least Arthur was not the only tired one in the office today. For once even Elena looked like she had lost all her energy and Morgana only managed to conceal her tiredness with lots of makeup. 

After work, Arthur fulfilled his first babysitting duty. Because he had bet that Kara would be a boy, he helped Lance finish the nursery, so everything would be perfect once Gwen and Kara get home.

“I am so tired; please tell me there is food in the kitchen.” It was eight o’clock when Arthur finally came home.

“I just ordered pizza, should be here any minute now,” Merlin replied, as tired as Arthur was. Today they got a big shipment with new books for their theme of the month.

Each month they specialized in one book genre, even had authors come by and hold readings from various book of the genre. It had actually been Merlin’s idea three years ago, when he realized a lot of people got stuck only with one genre, without realizing how many more genres there were out there. It had been a smashing success from day one and was one of the reason why Gaius took handing the book shop over to Merlin into consideration. Next month would be Urban Fantasy month.

“Oh I love you Merlin, you know that?” Arthur said before he realized what he had just said. His heart was beating fast as the words hit him. It wasn’t the first time they jokingly told each other I love you, but things were different now.

Merlin’s heart stopped a beat when he heard those words leave Arthur’s lips. Even though they hadn’t meant to, things had changed between them since the first night they spent together. Their relationship was different now, somehow…

Ding-Dong

Their food had arrived, preventing them from further analyzing those three words, though it didn’t mean they weren’t thinking about them the whole evening.

 

***************************************

 **October 2014**.

They had spent nearly every night in the last three weeks making out and sharing a bed; by now Merlin was pretty sure he could no longer remember how it felt like to sleep without Arthur clinging to him like an octopus at night. 

Other than that, their lives hadn’t changed much; they ate breakfast together and watched stupid sci-fi movies Merlin was too scared to watch alone or hung out with the gang. None of their friends had suspected any change so far and Merlin was grateful for that. He didn’t need their advice on how to handle the change in his and Arthur’s relationship; he liked to pretend nothing had changed and during the day he could actually do that.

Their morning rituals were still the same as ever; the fact that they now woke up together didn’t change anything. Merlin just left the bathroom after minutes of debating whether leaving the hot shower to get to work was actually worth it, when he heard a phone ring. Judging by the obnoxious noise, it was not his own phone; Arthur had a soft spot for funky 80’s songs, which Merlin had to promise to never tell anyone, back when they were both sixteen. Seeing Arthur nowhere close to the kitchen where the sound came from he picked it up. He could see Morgana’s name flashing on the display.

“Good Morning.” He greeted her. “Why are you calling? Won’t you see Arthur at work anyway?”

“Good morning to you too.” Merlin hated the fact that she sounded so awake even in the morning. He never understood morning people. “I’m not going to ask why you’re answering my brother’s phone. I just wanted to check if he got Catrina and father’s ugly wedding invitation as well and I can’t do that at work because I wouldn’t put it past Catrina to bug our offices.”

Merlin was pretty sure that was not the case but didn’t feel the need to argue with Morgana, knowing full well he would lose no matter how reasonable his argument was. Instead he started making coffee; two mugs, one for himself and one for Arthur, who had to be over at their neighbour’s flat to feed the goldfish, all the while he listened to Morgana’s rant about the evil troll that was going to be their new stepmother. 

“So what exactly did you want to talk about?” he finally interrupted her after taking the first sip of coffee.

“Did you see the wedding invitation?” she only answered, prompting Merlin to look through the mail they had abandoned on their living room table yesterday. 

“Well, it looks romantic…” he tried diplomatic, suppressing a laugh only by raising his eyebrows, a trick he had learning from working with Gaius. 

“Romantic?! That’s a nice way to put it. It looks formal as hell, but I wouldn’t expect anything else from father. But look at the writing. We are expected to bring a date and tell them in time whom we bring. I am fucking married, whom to they expect me to bring? My secret lover?”

Now Merlin had to laugh out loud. Morgana may be stunning looking and even had her fair share of admirers, but it was still impossible to think about her cheating on Leon. They may look mismatched at first glance but truth is they were a pair made in heaven. 

“Tell Arthur to bring a date. And I mean someone I can bitch with during this whole wedding debacle, not some stupid blond bimbo who wears too much pink. Who will you bring, Merlin?”

“Me?” Merlin squealed, nearly choking on the last remains of his coffee. “I’m pretty sure I am not invited. I mean I didn’t get an invitation or something.”

“You, not invited? You are practically family! How should I survive both the wedding and Arthur’s probably bimbo date without you? You have to come. I will tell Uther as soon as I reach the office. That reminds me, I need to go. Tell Arthur to stop by my office today. Kisses, Merlin,” and she was gone.

Before he could think about what she had just said the front door opened and Arthur entered their kitchen.

“Is that mine?” he asked upon seeing Merlin still holding the phone.

“Yes, Morgana called. She wanted to tattle about the wedding invitation and to remind you not to choose a bimbo date.” He handed Arthur the cup of coffee he had made for him. 

“Thanks,” Arthur said while nearly inhaling his espresso.

“Oh and she wants me to come as well. Said I was practically family, so I needed to be at the wedding too.”

“She is right about that.” Arthur put the now empty cup in the dishwasher. “Hey, you should be my date.”

Merlin nearly choked a second time on his coffee. “Date?”

“Yeah, you are not a bimbo, so Morgana won’t mind. Plus you can be my drinking buddy, that’s the only way I will survive that wedding ordeal and Morgana is out of commission thanks to her pregnancy.”

“I’m not sure, Arthur. I mean in all those years your father barely tolerated me, so saying I am part of the family is a long shot.”

“Oh come on Merlin. Do I need to beg you? Cause I will! There is no way I could have as much fun with some date as I will have with you. You are my best mate! Come on, I need you!” 

As if Merlin could say no to him.

“Alright; I’ll do it. But don’t expect me to put out.” He added jokingly, but it fell flat, leaving a weird silence behind.

“You know I wouldn’t expect anything from you.” Arthur said after a minute of silence. “I need to get to work. Talk to you in the evening” and he was gone. Merlin wanted to kick himself for his words, knowing full well that Arthur spoke the truth. In all those weeks he had never tried to do more than what Merlin was willing to do, even if it meant not doing more than making out.

 

***************************************

 **October 2005**.

Merlin had known he liked guys even before the accident. Well, back then he at least thought he liked guys, now he knew for sure. He knew it wouldn’t change a thing between him and his mother; he was pretty sure she suspected it anyway, but it was a completely different thing to tell the gang. 

It was his second year at Camelot High and Arthur had just started dating Gwen. They were a cute couple – everyone thought so, even Morgana – but it made Merlin only realize once more that he wasn’t like them. His exuded straightness was a lie; one he wasn’t sure how to uphold any longer. On the other hand he was afraid shitless to come out. He was pretty sure the girls wouldn’t mind, as well as Leon. Gwaine would probably make lots of crude jokes about it, but would otherwise be fine. The only one he was afraid to tell was Arthur.

Arthur had become his best friend within the last year, the one person who knew nearly all his secrets and Merlin knew it was time to tell him the rest. Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about how Arthur would react to the news. He never had said anything homophobic before, so he was pretty sure that Arthur, at least in theory, didn’t mind gay people, but having a gay best friend was something completely different.

It was a Monday morning when Merlin decided to tell Arthur the truth. After the weekend – they had had a tiny party at Arthur’s place, where Merlin had to witness the boys trying to make the move on every available girl; Gwaine even drunkenly tried to flirt Morgana which had at least been hilarious– he just couldn’t pretend any longer, so he made plans to meet up with Arthur after school.

Once the bell rang, announcing the end of the school day, they met at the bus stop outside the school building. Just one more year before Arthur could get his driver’s license, though Merlin didn’t plan on doing the same.

“So what’s so important that you couldn’t tell me at school,” Arthur finally said after arriving home. They had spent the whole bus ride talking about school and other seemingly unimportant stuff, but now that they arrived at the mansion Arthur lived in, he could no longer wait. This mysterious secret made him nervous; what if there was something terribly wrong with Merlin?

“Let’s get tea first,” Merlin hoped the hot drink would make his tongue looser, now that it felt as if he had a knot in his tongue. Nerves got the best of him once more when he saw Arthur making tea in the kitchen.

“Ok, now talk,” Arthur said after putting a cup in front of Merlin. “What can be so bad that you couldn’t tell me at school? Did something happen? Was it Valiant? If this jerk did something, I swear to god the guys and I will bring him down.”

“It’s not Valiant,” Merlin finally managed after taking the first sip of his tea. 

“Is it about your mother? Is there anything wrong with Hunith? You know I can help; if you have financial problems or so…”

“Arthur, it’s not my mother. She is fine. And we don’t need your money either.”

“So what is it if it’s not your mother? Is it you? Are you ill? Is everything alright with your scars? Do you need another operation or anything?”

“Arthur…” Merlin tried to interrupt again, without much success.

“Is it a girl? Did someone break your heart? You know, if she doesn’t appreciate you, she doesn’t deserve you.”

“For Christ’s sake Arthur, stop guessing! It’s not a girl and I am not dying either. I am gay!”

There, he’d said it. Now that the words were out of his mouth he felt his whole face blushing. That had not been the way he planned on telling Arthur.

“Gay?” Arthur squeaked, sounding unsure for once.

“Yeah, gay,” was all Merlin could manage to say without falling apart. It was all wrong; he should have told Arthur under different circumstances, should have sat him down and explained instead of blurting it out like that. No wonder Arthur looked like someone punched him in the face. With Thor’s hammer.

The silence that followed was nearly deafening, as Merlin tried to find his next words and Arthur obviously struggled to comprehend what he had just found out about his best friend. It felt like hours had passed before Arthur spoke again.

“Christ, Merlin. Don’t you ever do that again. You nearly gave me a heart attack thinking there was something wrong with you.”

He smiled and it felt as if someone had lifted a weight off Merlin’s chest.

“So, you don’t mind?” He had to ask.

“Why would I mind, Merlin? It’s not as if anything would change. You’re still the same. Unless of course you want to tell me you’re an alien next. That might change my perspective. But you being gay? Changes nothing.”

He obviously could still see the shocked and slightly panicked expression on Merlin’s face, so the next thing Merlin registered was being pressed against Arthur’s muscular chest and Arthur’s hands patting his back.

“So, who else knows?” Arthur ended the hug and went back to his previously abandoned cup of tea.

“Actually, you’re the first one. I haven’t told anyone else yet, but I am pretty sure my mum knows anyway. I want to tell the gang as well, I just wanted you to know before I do that.”  
“Well, thanks for telling me. And don’t worry; I’ll be there when you tell the gang. I won’t even tell Gwen until you’re ready.” After a pause he added good-naturedly “But if you want to go shopping now, ask Morgana.”

Merlin’s only reply was to stick out his tongue like a five year old.

The next weekend Merlin told the rest of the gang as Arthur stood beside him. They reacted exactly as he thought they would, Gwen and Morgana hugging him close to reassure him that he was still their darling and Gwaine making every crude joke he could think of.

 

***************************************

 **October 2014**.

Two days after telling Uther about Merlin being Arthur’s date, the two men spent their Saturday afternoon shopping. Both had the day off and Arthur had decided that Merlin needed a new suit; he had told Merlin that there was no way he would wear the old and baggy one he already owned to such a high class event as the wedding of Uther Pendragon, so now they were running from one high-end shop to the next, looking at suits that would look amazing on Arthur but not so much on Merlin. 

He had never been a suit person to begin with, preferring jeans and geeky t-shirts over anything too fancy, and now, trying on one suit after the other, he felt like a dressed up monkey. The fact that nearly every female shop employee they had encountered tried to flirt with Arthur didn’t improve his mood either. He hated shopping and would have preferred to spend his work-free Saturday with Arthur relaxing on their couch and watching movies.

“That’s the one,” Arthur said five minutes after entering the third shop.

“You said that at the last shop as well. And I looked like a kindergartner dressed in his dad’s clothes,” Merlin replied without even looking; he was too busy glaring at the young, blonde woman who was showing them around. 

Since they had arrived five minutes ago, she had only been talking to Arthur and her voice made it really clear she didn’t want to talk to him about suits. Strangely enough, Arthur didn’t even seem to realize that though. He hadn’t at the other two stores either. Normally he would have been the first one to flirt back, so it irritated Merlin to see him handling the situation so businesslike. He couldn’t understand why Arthur didn’t; surely it wasn’t because of their changed situation? 

“Trust me Merlin; that’s the one. It will fit you perfectly; it had obviously been made for someone as slender as you.” He sent Merlin a big smile, without realizing the scowl on the employee’s face; she obviously wished to be the one to receive Arthur’s sunshine smile.

“It is,” blondie chipped in. “It is a slender one; you can’t wear it if you are really muscular.” The last part was directed at Arthur, who stayed oblivious to her comment.

“Come on Merlin, try it on,” Arthur took the suit and started to carry it towards the changing rooms; he had obviously been in this shop before. Merlin could only follow him, as well as the blonde woman.

“Here,” Arthur pushed Merlin into one of the cubicles once they had reached their destination. “Try it on and I’ll look for ties while you do so.”

Without waiting for Merlin’s reply he went back into the sales room, closely followed by the blonde employee.

Merlin only shrugged before closing the door of the changing room cubicle. There was a big mirror on one wall, which allowed him to see himself from top to toe. Merlin still didn’t feel like he belonged here; his baggy jeans and overly large Star Wars t-shirt clashed violently with the suit hanging on the opposite wall. No wonder the blonde hadn’t even tried to look at him when she was showing them around.

Merlin shook his head to get his mind off the blonde woman and Arthur – it had never bothered him before to see someone beautiful flirt with Arthur, so why did it bother him now – and started to undress.

He turned his back to the mirror once he got rid of his t-shirt. He knew the sight that would greet him; he didn’t need to see his scars on full display with neon lightning, thank you very much, so he undressed without looking at the mirror. He only turned around once he buttoned up the dress shirt Arthur had chosen for him, and slipped into the suit jacket. 

Looking at his image in the mirror Merlin had to give Arthur some credit; the suit really did look good on him. He was no Arthur, but the suit did its best to compliment his features, making him look less lanky and more like a gracefully slender, tall man. 

The pant legs fit perfectly, when other trousers had been a challenge before; tall and skinny wasn’t the best combination when it came to trousers. Even his shoulders filled out the jacket perfectly. He didn’t need Arthur’s build to make the suit look good.

Plus the charcoal-coloured fabric made his complexion less gloomy. 

“You ready?,” he could hear Arthur’s voice shouting from outside his cubicle. He didn’t dare to open the door without Merlin’s permission.

“Yeah,” Merlin replied, still kind of shocked how good he actually looked.

“Wow, Merlin, you look fantastic! I knew it,“ Arthur stood in the doorway of the cubicle. The look on his face made Merlin blush; he looked as if he wanted to devour Merlin.  
“Here, try this tie. I think it would work best with the suit.” Arthur stared to knot the tie around Merlin’s neck, making him blush even more now that Arthur was so close. Somehow this moment felt more intimate than all the nights they had shared in the last few weeks.

“Finished,” Arthur murmured before pressing a light kiss to Merlin’s lips. Merlin was shocked for a moment. In all those weeks they had never kissed or shown affection outside their flat. He pressed closer to Arthur and enjoyed the warmth that spread throughout his body, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach. He would think about them some other time.

“Everything al…” they heard a gasp coming from outside the cubicle. Merlin and Arthur smiled against each other’s mouths before breaking apart and turning to the blonde employee from before, who looked like someone had punched her in the belly.

“Yes, thank you, we will take that suit, shirt and tie.” Arthur’s hand was still resting on Merlin’s hips, where it had wandered to during their kiss.

“And I am regular customer here. My name is Arthur Pendragon, I should be in the system.” He finished talking to the blonde woman, turning to Merlin again and smiling at him.  
“Go change back into your clothes, I’ll pay for everything in the meantime.” He pressed another small kiss to Merlin’s lips, preventing him from arguing.

Then he turned around and left with the still shocked looking woman. Merlin sighed before changing, trying to control the butterflies that where still roaming in his stomach. He wasn’t sure what he had enjoyed more: the look on Arthur’s face or the woman’s shocked expression, once she realized Arthur belonged to Merlin, but he didn’t want to dwell on it. Just because they had kissed in a public place didn’t mean their relationship had changed. 

If only the butterflies were on the same page as his head.

 

***************************************

 

“I brought Tequila!”

Arthur didn’t even need to see the person to know who had just arrived at Gwen’s place. Seeing as the Rising Sun wasn’t an option for Gwen at the moment, little Kara just a few weeks old, they decided to spend their evening at Gwen and Lance’s.

“You do realize we have stuff to drink here, right?” Gwen answered before receiving a kiss on the cheek from Gwaine.  
“As much as I love breasts, I don’t really think about drinking from them darling.”

“Gwaine!” came the answer from more than one present person.

Arthur could only shake his head mildly; he had known Gwaine since they first joined the football team together; nothing the man uttered could shock him anymore.  
Entering the living room further Gwaine bumped knuckles with most of the guys.

“I just thought we should spend the night getting shitfaced. You know, practice for next weekend. We will all need alcohol to survive the wedding.”

“We?” Arthur was confused, as far as he knew his father would never invite Gwaine. After all, he was not the son of a business partner, therefore irrelevant for his father’s life.  
“Yeah; Elena asked me to be her date. After hearing so many stories about the step troll I couldn’t say no. What lucky lady are you bringing as your date?”

“Actually, Arthur is bringing Merlin.” Morgana emerged from the bathroom. Her tone may sound innocent to most people, but Arthur knew his sister too well. She had spent the last few days making insinuations that made Arthur feel a bit uneasy. She couldn’t know about his and Merlin’s arrangement.

Thinking about Merlin, Arthur’s head turned instinctively to him. He had always had an eye for Merlin, even when they were still teenagers, but somehow he found himself looking at Merlin even more often recently. And it wasn’t only looking at him; he was constantly remembering him: how his lips tasted, how his body felt beneath Arthur’s own. Sometimes he felt like just looking at Merlin could make him happy for the rest of his life.

It frightened him a little, how these thoughts kept popping into his head. It had never happened with any of his previous lovers; at least, not with such intensity. Of course his and Merlin’s relationship was different from any of his former ones, as they were friends before becoming lovers. 

They weren’t even real lovers; they were friends with benefits and outside their bedroom their relationship hadn’t changed much. So why does it feel like it had?

“Merlin? Wouldn’t pick you to be the wedding type. Do you even own a suit?” Gwaine seemed as surprised at the news as the rest of the room. Arthur didn’t get it though, what’s the big deal in bringing someone he could actually have fun with?

“I actually do. Arthur bought me one.” During the last statement Merlin’s cheeks and ears started to turn a bit reddish. He never had liked Arthur buying things for him and allowing him to pay for the suit had only happened after fighting about the issue the night before their shopping trip, which had only been resolved by a passionate round of making out.

Morgana sat down next to Merlin, throwing her legs on his lap. 

“The real question here is, do you own one? A real one? As much as I want to see the troll embarrass herself at the wedding, I don’t want Ellie to get fired because you turned up in your birth suit.” 

Merlin took the cue; ever since the gang had realized how strong and yet gentle his hands were he had been charged with the task of keeping the pregnant females happy, which meant giving foot rubs at every possible opportunity.

“Ha fucking ha. Now I won’t tell you, you’ll have to wait till the wedding to see how I look.”

“You sound like a girl, Gwaine. Mhm, that’s good, Merlin.” Morgana nearly moaned. “Good thing Leon has to work late today. You could definitely make him jealous with your hands.”

They all knew that wasn’t true. Leon was as laid back as one person could be.

“Speaking about girls; why did the princess invite Merlin? Afraid a real date could out-pretty you, Arthur?”

Arthur could only shake his head again. “You do realize out-pretty isn’t really a word, right?”

“So is clotpole, but Merlin still keeps calling you that.”

“I only call him clotpole when he behaves like an idiot. Which doesn’t happen that often anymore.”

Merlin nearly sounded sad about that. He really had loved to call Arthur by the made up insult.

The topic was dropped when Lance brought out the food from the kitchen. Still, Arthur had to smile; Merlin’s statement remembered him of the first time the word clotpole had been used. These days Arthur knew he had deserved that nickname, which had become almost an endearment over the years.

 

***************************************

 **October 2004**.

The first month of the new school year went by quickly, mostly thanks to the gang and Arthur who seemed to have adopted Merlin on the spot. Like a tiny dog, Arthur would joke, earning a snarky reply by Merlin. It had taken Merlin two weeks to become confident enough around Arthur to come up with some witty comebacks and a nickname for him; for all his heroic behavior Arthur truly could be a clotpole, but under his arrogant and sometimes impolite attitude beat the heart of a noble prince in shining amour, so Merlin could overlook the rest. Most of the time.

It was a Monday and Merlin was incredible tired, even more so than is usual for a Monday. He had had his first revision in first period, history, so he had spend most of the night studying last minute. His head was still burning with one question he hadn’t known the answer to when he sat down at their usual lunch table next to Gwen and Morgana.  
“How did it go?” Gwen asked; she had first period with him but hadn’t had time to talk to him much afterwards.

“Fine, I think. Though I didn’t know the correct answer to question 11. I just couldn’t remember the chronology of the names and deaths.”

Before Gwen could reply a tray was put down across from Merlin; Arthur had arrived.

Even after the last five weeks Merlin couldn’t quite believe he sat at the popular table.

“The answer to 11 was easy. It’s divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived. It even rhymes. Even a kindergartner would know that, idiot. What did you learn in your old village school? How to harvest potatoes?”

At moments like this Merlin seriously reconsidered his friendship with Arthur. Morgana nearly jumped off her chair, ready to jump to Merlin’s defense; being siblings she never needed an excuse to fight with her younger brother.

“I am sorry for apparently not learning stuff even a “kindergartner” at my old “village school” would know. The quotation marks were clearly audible, Merlin’s voice dripping with sarcasm. “I must have missed that part when I was lying in a coma after nearly burning to death in a car wreck. Clotpole!” He added the last part to let Arthur know that he could give as well as he got.

To late Merlin realized what he had just said; three pairs of eyes were staring at him shocked. Of course Merlin had told them tiny bits about the accident; he couldn’t get around that part after getting rescued by Arthur the first time they had met; but they had not known how bad it had been. Now they knew and Merlin wanted to die. 

A million thoughts went through Merlin’s mind, one more terrifying than the last. What if they thought he was a freak? What if they pitied him now? He didn’t want anyone’s pity; his therapy had taught him that as a survivor, he should never need anyone’s pity, just their support.

Gwen was the first to find her voice. “Merlin, I am so…”, but she didn’t finish; once again Arthur interrupted her.

“Merlin, I am so, so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I never should have said those things; I didn’t mean them. Not really. I just wasn’t thinking. I apologize.”

Once again, everyone was silent. Even though Merlin had only known Arthur for a month he knew that apologies weren’t his thing. 

“It’s all right, I guess. Just sensitive.”

“And you will never call him an idiot again,” Morgana finally spoke up. She clearly didn’t know how to react to Merlin’s outburst, but that was all right. Merlin didn’t need another apology.

“But don’t think I won’t keep calling you clotpole when you deserve it,” Merlin tried to joke and change the subject. Upon hearing this words Arthur sent Merlin a little smile, clearly accepting the peace offering.

“What’s up?” Gwaine suddenly appeared. They hadn’t heard him or the other knights approaching their table. He put his tray down next to Arthur’s; Leon, Percy and Elyan followed him suit. 

“What’s with the serious faces? Don’t tell me you were discussing this stupid revision. Man, I definitely fucked up question 11.”

This managed to make Merlin and Arthur laugh out loud, while Gwaine still looked at them bewildered.

Of course Arthur didn’t quite manage to quit calling Merlin an idiot, but that was okay. Somewhere along the way Merlin learned that “idiot” could be an endearment as much as an insult.

 

***************************************

 **November 2014**.

The week before the wedding flew by faster than expected. Both Merlin and Arthur had so much to do at work that they hadn’t even managed to pack their overnight bags. They would be staying at the hotel near the family’s lodge where most of the celebration would take place. They both decided they didn’t want to drive back into the city in the middle of the night, so Arthur made reservations for the nearest available hotel.

“Merlin, are you done yet?” Arthur had to shout over the TV so Merlin would be able to hear him in his bathroom where he was currently changing into his suit.

Arthur had been ready minutes ago. Now he was only waiting for Merlin to emerge from his room, while watching the weather update. They were still predicting a storm for tonight; Morgana has sent him at least a dozen gleeful messages once she found out the wedding pictures may fall through. She hated the dress she was made to wear as the maid of honour.

“MER…” he lost all his ability to speak when the door opened.

He had seen Merlin wearing the suit at the shop but the lightning hadn’t done him any justice. Merlin looked amazing. His shoulders appeared to be wider, his legs even longer. The light gray material of the dress shirt combined with the charcoal colour of the suit made his pale skin look more ethereal; with his slightly curled hair he looked like an angel climbing down from heaven. 

“Wow” was all Arthur managed to say. Merlin’s cheeks turned red.

“I could say the same about you. Your tie has the same colour as your eyes.” Arthur blushed lightly as well.

“Need any help with that?” he pointed at Merlin’s tie, still dangling undone around his throat.

Merlin only managed a husky “yeah”.

Stepping closer, Arthur had to suppress his desire to caress Merlin’s skin as he was knotting his tie. All those pale skin in front of him made him ache to get closer.

“All done.” He nearly whispered before pressing a gentle kiss to the skin he had just admired. He could feel Merlin swallow as his Adam’s apple moved against his lips. His skin tasted like the shower gel he had used (strawberry; not the sort of shower gel one may expect a man to use, but somehow Merlin made it work).

Clearing his throat and his mind, he asked, “Ready to go?” as he took a step back again, trying not to crave the feeling of Merlin’s skin against his lips. They will have time for that tonight.

 

***************************************

 

Merlin really wished he could tell what was going on at the ceremony but all he could think of was the way Arthur’s thigh was pressed against his. He had tried to follow the events of the ceremony, but gave up after only a few minutes. At some point he just couldn’t concentrate anymore; his mind was occupied by thoughts about the handsome man next to him.

Arthur had always been handsome; even when they were acne-ridden teenagers; and Merlin had always known it. But things were different now that he also knew how Arthur looked and felt underneath his suit. He could feel the muscles of his thigh where it was pressed against his, just as he could feel the muscles last night when Arthur had pressed their bodies together, leisurely rubbing against Merlin’s crotch until Merlin had felt like he would be burned alive by their passion.

Merlin didn’t necessarily believe in God, but if he existed he would throw Merlin in hell for having these thoughts in his church. 

“You’re alright?” Arthur whispered in his ear, earning a disproving look by some elderly lady sitting in the same pew as them. Merlin thought she may be a far-off family member of Arthur’s. He suppressed the shivers running down his spine as he felt Arthur’s breath against his temple.

He nodded, not daring to actually say anything with the elderly lady still looking at them. Maybe she could sense Merlin’s unholy thoughts.

“Your thoughts seem to be somewhere else.” Arthur kept ignoring the lady that Merlin finally realized was his aunt. He had seen a picture of her – looking younger but definitely the same woman – at the Pendragon mansion before.

Merlin let Arthur meet his gaze, trying to communicate his thoughts without actually saying anything. Arthur seemed to guess Merlin’s distractedness and focused again on the events of the ceremony.

Merlin tried to do the same. After a minute he thought he could feel Arthur casually pressing even closer to him than before, but he couldn’t be sure.

 

***************************************

 

Much to Morgana’s disapproval, the weather seemed to stay sunny for November, meaning the siblings had to pose for several family pictures with the newlyweds in the park surrounding the church before continuing with the wedding festivities.

Merlin in the meantime had found Gwaine and Elena, both properly dressed, thank god, and talked to them a bit before the newlyweds came back and they all started to walk towards the lodge owned by the Pendragons.

“I hate this dress. I feel fat!” Morgana complained for the hundredth time. Her pregnancy hormones and hunger truly made her bitchy. Leon just nodded at his wife as if he hadn’t heard about her problems with the dress before.

Merlin tried to cheer her up by telling her some funny stories from the bookshop, but so far only Arthur seemed to enjoy them.

The lodge had been specially decorated for the event, Merlin realized as they arrived. It had been years since he had been here the last time, still most things still looked the same.  
There were several tables built up at the dining area, all of them with place cards. Thank god he and Arthur did not sit on the same table as the groom and bride. They shared a table with Morgana, Leon, Elena and Gwaine instead, which put him at ease again. He wouldn’t have known what to talk about with most of the other people there.

After a few toasts, even the siblings managed to say something that sounded vaguely positive, and the food had arrived, leaving Morgana at a happier place.

“You know, the only fun things about weddings are the wedding games,” Gwaine announced once their tables were sans food again. 

“Don’t expect that to happen here; Catrina has not a single funny bone in her body.” Morgana’s hands rested on her belly. Her pregnancy was starting to show.

“I don’t think Uther does either, so we’re double screwed. At least there’s free booze.” Gwaine ordered another bottle.

After two glasses of champagne, Merlin felt a bit tipsy. Not drunk, but definitely not sober, so he declined another glass from Gwaine.

“At least there’s music,” Merlin tried to cheer them up. He already saw them all on the dance floor at some point.

“You think it’s too early to dance?” Elena asked, looking hopefully at Gwaine. Merlin wasn’t sure when exactly it had happened, but he was pretty sure Gwaine wasn’t just her date for tonight.

“It’s never too early to dance.” Gwaine took her hand and lead her to the dance floor, even though no one else was dancing yet. Morgana and Leon followed them shortly after that, leaving Merlin and Arthur on their own.

“Thanks for coming with me; I am pretty sure you are the only thing that is actually keeping me awake tonight,” Arthur said, taking another sip of champagne.

“No problem. What are friends for?” Somehow the word friend sounded wrong, but he couldn’t tell why.

“You want to dance?” Arthur broke the silence. Merlin looked around. A few more people had started dancing, but all of them looked formal and old-fashioned; they would probably be shocked to see two people of the same sex dance.

“Sure,” he took the hand Arthur had offered him and followed him to the dance floor. So what if some people stared? It’s not like Uther and therefore Catrina didn’t know about Arthur’s sexual preferences.

Of course the song was slow; allowing Merlin to snuggle up to Arthur as they gentle swayed and completely ignored the shocked stares of the older family friends and members. He could feel Arthur’s hot breath on his temple and his heartbeat next to his own. The moment would have been unbearably romantic if not for the situation. The soft classical music, the heat of Arthur’s closeness and the champagne all made him want to look up and kiss Arthur. Somehow it felt as if that would be the perfect thing to do, but he didn’t. No matter how badly he wanted to, they were only here as friends. In that moment it hit him like a truck. 

He never had believed in people who fell in love slowly without realizing it; in his opinion, there was always an exact moment that could be pinned down. Now, though, he realized this was exactly what had happened to him.

He loved Arthur. Not just as a friend or even as the closest thing to a brother he ever had, but as a man, a human being; someone he could spend the rest of his life waking up next to. Someone who knew him and understood him in a way he sometimes couldn’t even understand himself.

He tried to snuggle even closer as all those feelings and hopes hit him. Just enjoy it as long as it lasts, he told himself, as Arthur’s arms wrapped around him more firmly. 

 

***************************************

 

They stayed at the wedding reception till around eleven. When Morgana and Leon had hit the road they had decided to leave as well. They had just finished saying their goodbyes to the remaining guests and were now slowly walking over to their hotel. Arthur took Merlin’s hand in his and kissed it. They were far away enough from the wedding party that they could be freely affectionate. 

“The wedding wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Merlin broke the companionable silence.

“Yeah,” Arthur said. “The food was good.”

“And the music,” Merlin added when he saw the hotel they were staying at.

Arthur nodded in agreement as he opened the front door for Merlin and lead him right over to the elevators.

Pushing the button for the 3rd floor, they waited for the elevator’s arrival.

The moment the elevator doors closed behind them Arthur’s lips found their way to Merlin’s. For a moment Merlin was concerned they would be interrupted by one of the party guests once they reached the next floor, but that thought quickly left his mind; Arthur’s lips felt too good to be concerned about other people.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since we left the wedding,” Arthur murmured between kisses, which earned him one of Merlin’s tiny smiles.

“Me too,” he agreed before seeking out Arthur’s lips again.

Merlin could feel the cold material of the elevator’s mirror on his back; Arthur was backing him up against the wall. Not that he minded; being able to feel Arthur’s front pressed against his was more than making up for the cold material at his back.

Arthur’s hands, which had been at Merlin’s sides just seconds ago, were now framing Merlin’s face, angling it so he could nibble on his chin before traveling down to Merlin’s throat, which was one of Merlin’s sensitive spots. He couldn’t hold back a moan.

“Arthur,” he huskily whispered, pushing one hand into Arthur’s golden hair, combing his fingers through it before grabbing it to hold Arthur’s head in place. 

Arthur’s tongue had joined in and was doing magical things to the spot over Merlin’s carotid artery. He could feel himself growing hard as he could feel Arthur’s erection pressed against his hip.

“Arthur,” he once again moaned. He vaguely registered a sound and it took him a second to realize they had reached their floor. He pushed against Arthur, before slipping free from his grip.

“Let me lead the way. Our room number is 334,” Arthur said once he composed himself again and stepped out of the elevator as well. He took Merlin’s hand in his as if they were a couple, which made Merlin’s heart nearly explode wishing they were.

“Here,” Merlin pointed at a door, waiting for Arthur to fish the key card out of his suit pocket. The bellboy had brought their luggage up to their room while they had attended the wedding.

Once opened, Arthur’s lips pressed against his, his tongue urgently trying to slip past them. Merlin opened his mouth, letting Arthur’s tongue in as he found himself once again pressed against a hard background, this time the closed hotel room door. His hands found the light switch, bathing the room in an unnaturally golden light.

Merlin let Arthur dominate the kiss for a while, just enjoying his taste and the feeling of their bodies being so close together again. Soon enough, though, he wanted more. He wanted to feel Arthur’s skin against his, feel those hard muscles that had been taunting him the whole day. 

He pushed against Arthur’s chest, trying to get his hand between their bodies so he could unbutton Arthur’s dress shirt as well as his nearly undone tie. Arthur stepped back to help him, but let Merlin’s hand glide against his pecks in the process. Merlin loved feeling Arthur’s chest hair against his hands. The dark golden hairs were so much softer than they looked.

He just wanted to start unbuttoning Arthur’s trousers when Arthur caught his hands.

“Wait,” he whispered, as he let go of them again in order to help Merlin undress himself. It didn’t take long for Merlin’s shirt to land on the floor, Arthur’s hands stroking his chest and belly. He caught one of Merlin’s nipples between his fingers, squeezing and stroking it, before his mouth landed on the other one. Merlin moaned, his desire to get rid of Arthur’s trousers forgotten at the moment.

Arthur gently bit into the nipple before blowing air on it, making Merlin moan even louder. Then he changed sides to do the same with the other one. Merlin’s hands grabbed Arthur’s hair again, alternating between pulling, pushing and combing through them.

By the time his mouth slid down Merlin’s hairless chest, kissing along one of his scars to reach Merlin’s belly button, Merlin was a mess. He moaned, vaguely thinking that he sounded like a porn star, and not caring at all. It just felt so damn good to have Arthur’s lips on him.

When Arthur’s tongue dipped into Merlin’s belly button the moans stopped to make way for some giggles.

“Stop, Arthur,” Merlin managed breathlessly.

“Why?” Arthur answered, licking the area around Merlin’s belly button to hear that giggle again. “I haven’t even tasted the best part of you yet.”

Following through with his words, Arthur’s left hand grabbed Merlin’s hip, the right one unbuttoning his trousers, while he pressed his hot mouth against Merlin’s covered crotch. Merlin’s hard dick was clearly visible, even with his trousers still on.

Once again Arthur had managed to reduce him to moans. His trousers dropped to the floor along with his boxers. Merlin stepped out of them and slipped out of his shoes before he felt Arthur’s face pressed against his crotch again. He could feel his breath on the hairs there, making his erection even harder.

“Gosh, I love your smell. Makes me so damn hard.” Arthur stuck his tongue out, starting to slowly lick along the thick vein on Merlin’s cock before reaching the head.  
“Fuck!” was all Merlin managed to say, letting his head roll back to fall against the door.

Arthur grinned, his tongue still caressing the head before he spread his lips to take it into his mouth.

The suction nearly undid Merlin and once Arthur let his lips slide along his whole shaft, Merlin was gone.

Arthur’s left hand at Merlin’s hip still held him in place, the right one joining in on Merlin’s cock, grabbing at the base that Arthur couldn’t reach with his mouth, jerking him off in time with his sucking.

Merlin’s moans got louder by the minute, only alternating between various versions of “please”, “fuck” or “Arthur”.

When Arthur’s lips left his cock he couldn’t suppress a whine before another “fuck” left his lips as Arthur’s mouth touched his balls, licking them while Merlin spread his legs as wide as he could. Arthur’s hands were jerking Merlin in earnest now, driving him lowly towards the edge. 

“Please, please, please,” he whimpered. “Arthur!” he nearly shouted as Arthur’s lips slipped around the head of his erection again, triggering his orgasm. 

He moaned loudly as he emptied himself into Arthur’s mouth; waves of pleasure hit his body and shook him to the core. His eyes rolled back, when the last wave carried through his body and his knees gave up. 

The only thing holding him up was Arthur, who after pulling off stood back up to hug Merlin close. He buried his face in Merlin’s neck, smelling the scent of Merlin’s sweat that now covered his body.

He kissed Merlin’s collarbone as he started to move his hips a little. The material of his trousers was rough against Merlin’s hypersensitive skin, making Merlin hiss as it came into contact with his softening cock.

“Sorry,” Arthur murmured as he kissed Merlin for real. Their tongues danced leisurely for a moment and Merlin could taste himself on Arthur’s lips.

“Just let me take care of this,” Arthur said, taking a tiny step back. As always, he didn’t expect anything from Merlin as he unbuttoned his trousers.

“Wait!” Merlin all but shouted, in the otherwise silent hotel room.

Arthur dropped his hands dutiful, confusion and lust fighting for dominance in his eyes.

“I —” Merlin swallowed, suddenly unsure how to begin the sentence.

“I mean, I want to…” Damn it, get a grip, he chastised himself. He had his cock in Arthur’s mouth only moments ago; he should be able to talk about sex.

Taking a deep breath he finally rushed the words out “I think I’m ready. To do more, I mean.” 

He didn’t need a mirror to know his face was as red as a tomato. Arthur’s eyes softened. Reaching out for Merlin’s hands he said, “You know, we don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing this if you’re not ready.”

“But I am; I am ready,” his voice sounded surer this time.

“Ok, but I think we should continue in an actual bed and not against a door.” 

Arthur led Merlin the few meters to the bed, kissed him before gently pushing him to lie down. He stood at the foot of the bed, finally undoing his trousers and getting rid of them.  
Merlin could only stare. He had seen Arthur naked quite a few times now, but the sheer beauty of his body still surprised him. He was handsome when he wore clothes, but even more so with his golden skin on display. Hair just a bit darker than the one on his head covered most of his body, the darkest patch around his erection. It was neatly trimmed, but still visible, a bed for Arthur’s massive cock.

Merlin may not have seen another man’s cock in real life, but he had seen porn. Arthur could definitely keep the pace with them. He swallowed, thinking about feeling that part of Arthur inside his body.

“You look so sexy, all that pale skin and those dark socks,” Arthur tried to lighten the mood.

“Shut up, clotpole,” Merlin replied, sitting up to get rid of the socks in question. “Come here.”

Arthur did as he was told and crawled next to Merlin, half sitting, half lying. He stroked Merlin’s cheek, gazing deep into his eyes. Merlin looked up at him to meet his gaze; he felt like he could drown in Arthur’s eyes.

“You know, before we start this we should talk about it, “Arthur lay down on Merlin’s right side. “First, if you want to stop at any point, just say it. I will stop; no matter what we’re doing at that moment. This is your first time and you are allowed to change your mind.”

Merlin nodded dutiful, a coy smile playing on his lips. Hearing Arthur say those words made him realize how right his decision was. No matter what will happen, no matter how long their agreement will go on, he would always remember that he had his first time with someone he loved. Even if it would break his heart knowing Arthur didn’t feel the same way about him.

“The second thing is, we should discuss what exactly you want to do. Do you want to bottom or top? I’m alright with anything; just tell me what you want to do.”

“I want to feel you inside me,” Merlin tried to keep the sure note in his voice.

“Bottom it is,” Arthur said, ignoring Merlin’s insecurity in order to lean forward and kiss him again. Slowly, leisurely; as if they had all the time in the world. He opened Merlin’s mouth up to deepen the kiss, letting their tongues dance to their own rhythm. 

Before he knew it Merlin was moaning again, pressing closer to Arthur so they could hold each other. Arthur’s cock left a wet smear on Merlin’s hip. When he felt Arthur’s hands stroking his upper body he could feel himself getting hard again. 

Slowly Arthur turned Merlin on his back and lay down on top of him, holding himself up with his right arm, while the other one continued touching Merlin. Merlin’s hands were roaming on Arthur’s back; feeling all those muscles was like an aphrodisiac for him.

“Wait,” Arthur whispered before he turned on his side again so he could slide to the edge of the bed to get his hands on his bag.

“I’ve got lube and … damn it, I have no condoms. I didn’t expect us to do anything tonight.” Arthur sounded frustrated.

“I’ve never been with anyone, so I’m ok. And you’re clean too right?” Merlin answered from his side of the bed.

“Merlin, are you sure? It’s completely ok if we don’t do it without protection. I mean, I am clean, but…”

“No buts, I want to do it. Besides I have protection, you protect me.” Even to Merlin’s own ears his words sounded corny.

Arthur’s only response was to throw the bottle of lube at Merlin and sliding back to his side again. He started where they had left off, kissing Merlin passionately as he took the bottle from him again.

“Open your legs a bit. I imagine you want to do this face to face.”

“Yeah,” Merlin did as Arthur told him. He could feel Arthur’s hands slowly gliding over his cock, before reaching further behind. It felt strange having someone touch him there, so intimate, but it felt so good. He never knew just touching the area around the rim could feel so arousing.

Merlin heard a click and vaguely realized Arthur had opened the bottle, knowing for sure when he felt the cold liquid drip behind his balls. He took a sharp intake of breath and Arthur kissed him again, hard enough to distract him for a moment. Then he felt a digit press against his hole, slowly entering it with the help of the lube.

“Relax,” Arthur murmured against his lips as he felt Merlin tense. Merlin tried to, and soon enough a second finger joined in, exploring. His cock lay against his hip, having lost some of its hardness at the first intrusion.

“Arthur,” he nearly shouted when a bolt of pleasure hit his body. Arthur chuckled. “Guess we found your prostate gland.” His fingers brushed against the area again, making Merlin nearly jump out of his skin at the unexpected pleasure. His cock was definitely interested again, growing stiffer and starting to weep a bit.

A third digit followed soon, stretching Merlin more widely preparation. Arthur hit the gland several more times before slowly pulling out, leaving Merlin feeling strangely empty. Arthur rolled on his side to grab the lube again and cover himself. He hissed slightly as his own hand slid against his erection before rolling on top of Merlin again. 

“Pull your legs up a bit. It will make it easier,” Arthur instructed Merlin. Kissing him, he guided his erection to Merlin’s ass, gliding against the hole before starting to push in.  
It hurt a little, even with Arthur’s slow and careful intrusion. The burning sensation made him tense again, but Arthur calmed him down, kissing him and mumbling sweet nonsense against his lips. Soon enough he felt Arthur move, pulling back just to slam in again. With every push the unease lessened.

The third time slamming into Merlin, he managed to hit that spot again, making Merlin see stars. He leaned his face against Arthur’s shoulder and moaned. His hands started wandering aimlessly on Arthur’s back, stroking him and holding on to him.

Merlin’s cock rubbed deliciously against Arthur’s belly, stuck between their bodies. Even though he only just came he could feel another orgasm building; all these new sensations too much for him. He kept groaning Arthur’s name, over and over again. Arthur responded with husky sounding versions of Merlin’s own name. He could feel Arthur’s thrusts growing erratic; he too seemed to be close to coming undone.

“Arthur, I…” Merlin didn’t even get to finish his sentence as he felt Arthur thrust hard one more time before stilling on top of him. He felt Arthur spilling hot inside his body the exact moment his own orgasm hit him. He pressed his lips against Arthur’s, moaning breathlessly as he coated both their chests with his come.  
Arthur’s arms gave out and he collapsed on top of Merlin. They were both breathing heavily when he rolled aside, leaving Merlin feeling empty again after gliding out of his body. Even though they were both sticky with sweat and come he pulled Merlin close. Merlin could hear Arthur’s heartbeat as he lay his head down on his chest. He was so exhausted, he didn’t even care that he was still naked and his scars were showing.

Arthur wordlessly fumbled for some Kleenex to wipe them both down. He threw them away in the general direction of the dustbin and turned off the light switch next to the bed.  
Kissing Merlin’s forehead, he fell asleep. Merlin followed soon after, his last thought about Arthur and how much he loved him. He was so fucked.

 

***************************************

 

Merlin had to be back at work on Monday after the wedding. Normally he loved his work and therefore wasn’t a person who dreaded Mondays, but after the weekend’s events his feelings were upside down. Working at a bookshop meant having time to think, something he definitely didn’t want to do. 

Thinking meant overanalyzing the last few days and what had happened at the wedding. He wasn’t necessarily talking about sleeping with Arthur, even though it was hard not to think about the way Arthur had felt inside Merlin; how it had felt falling apart in Arthur’s arms and experiencing the single most pleasurable night of his life.

He thought mostly about the moment he realized he felt more for Arthur than friendship. He wasn’t sure when it had happened, when his feelings for his best friend, the most important person in his life, had changed. Maybe it happened slowly and maybe it had even started before their first kiss. All he knew was that while he was dancing with Arthur it had fallen like scales from his eyes. 

“Merlin!” Freya’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Are you alright? I asked if you wanted a cookie. I made them myself yesterday.”

“Thanks, Freya,” he took one and bit into it. “It’s delicious.”

She smiled at him and walked over to the customer who had just entered the shop. Thank god it was a slow Monday.

After showing the man the book he had been looking for and ringing it up, Freya came over again to stand next to Merlin.

“So how was the wedding?” she asked, taking another one of her cookies from the jar and taking a sip from her probably lukewarm tea.

Merlin contemplated what he should tell her. They had become quite good friends in the last few months; Merlin even brought her to along to meet the gang once. Maybe she was the right person to confide in.

“It was nice but...” he decided to tell. “God, I think I made a terrible mistake.”

And so he started talking, telling her about his and Arthur’s arrangement, how at first he thought nothing had changed and how he had realized at the wedding that this was no longer the truth.

“He’s my best friend. How could I fall in love with him? How could I do that to us? What if he senses something is wrong and our friendship falls apart? I don’t know what to do without him.” The words seem to blubber out of him, like the bubbles out of a vigorously shaken can of soda.

Freya was silent for a minute, taking her time to consider her answer.

“I think you should talk to him.”

“And say what? I love you even though you only see me as a friend? That will work out great!” He was getting more frustrated about his situation with each minute.  
“I don’t think he only likes you as a friend, Merlin. See, I‘m really good at reading people, mostly because they never seem to notice me because of my silent nature.”

She took another cookie.

“You may not have realized it yourself but the way he looks at you has changed in the last few weeks and now I think I know why. I think he has the same problem as you do. I think you should talk to him. He‘s your best friend; even if I‘m wrong, you‘ll figure something out.”

“Maybe you’re right. I‘ll think about it. Thank you Freya, for everything.”

After a few seconds he had to add: “How, exactly, does he look at me?”

Freya smiled as if she couldn’t believe Merlin was for real. “Like he can’t believe how he got stuck with such an idiot. But I don’t think he would change it for the world.”

 

***************************************

 

Arthur too had to be back at the office on Monday; his father may be on his honeymoon, but that didn’t mean that the office would be closed down. If anything, Arthur had to work twice as much to make sure everything was alright once Uther arrived back home next week.

“How was the rest of your weekend?” Elena asked while pouring him some coffee. She nearly radiated with happiness and Arthur could only guess that was Gwaine’s fault.  
“Fine, yours?” He nearly inhaled his coffee.

“Fine as well. You and Merlin seemed to be rather close at the wedding. All those dancing and stuff.” Did he only imagine it or did she sound suspicious? She probably talked to Morgana, theorizing about him and Merlin.

“Yeah, we‘re close. He is my best friend.”

The look on her face spoke more than a thousand words could; she didn’t believe a thing he said.

She closed the door to his office, which stood ajar most of the time.

“You know you can talk to me. About anything.”

She sounded so earnest, which was the only reason he could think of when the words left his mouth without him thinking about them first.  
“I think I‘m in love with Merlin. Some things changed and now I just can’t seem to stop thinking about him. And not in the same way as before.”

“Well, maybe you should tell him then.” She suggested, sitting on the other side of his desk.

“Maybe, but what if I ruin things?”

“You just have to try and see then.” With these words remaining in Arthur’s head, she stood up and left his office, leaving the door ajar again.

 

***************************************

 

Merlin had already been home for an hour before Arthur finally arrived. He had anxiously waited for the moment he could hear the front door opening, hoping that it would happen soon and, simultaneously, not happen at all.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he said before Arthur could so much as greet him.

“Okay,” Arthur sounded worried as he stressed the word too long.

Merlin went into the kitchen to get the wine, hoping that a relaxed atmosphere might ease the conversation they were about to have.  
He followed Arthur to the living room with the bottle and two glasses in his hand.

He didn’t know where to start; his head was a mess.

“Merlin, did something happen at work?”

The look on Merlin’s face started to make Arthur nervous as well. Merlin took a deep breath and a swig of his wine glass.

“I know this wasn’t supposed to happen and that you probably don’t feel the same way, which is fine. I just wanted to tell you the truth. I don’t know when it had happened but somewhere in the last few weeks my feelings for you have changed. I love you, Arthur, and I don’t know what to do about it. I know it means the end of our little agreement, but I just thought you should know. I love you.”

Merlin held his breath, wondering if he had been wrong for listening to Freya. Then Arthur started to laugh. Not a tiny laugh but rather a full-bellied laugh. In fact he laughed so hard it looked like there were tears forming in his eyes. Merlin was confused.

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Arthur managed between his fits of laughter. “Here you are telling me that you love me and all I can do is laugh instead of telling you the same. God, Merlin, I love you too. Maybe I always have loved you and just never realized it. In all those years you were the only person whose company I actually enjoyed and I would be crazy to give that up. I love you, idiot.”

He pulled a stunned Merlin into his arms and kissed him senseless; kissed him until they had to break apart to breathe. Arthur kept laughing and Merlin joined in. He didn’t know what their future would hold or how their relationship would change, exactly, but Merlin knew it would be alright; as long as he had Arthur on his side everything would be alright.

 

***************************************

 **January 2015**.

“Arthur, could you open the door please,” Merlin shouted from the kitchen where he was currently cooking. 

“Ok,” Arthur shouted back and went to get the door.

“Happy Birthday,” came a chorus as he opened it. Merlin could hear Arthur’s laugh. “Thanks guys, but the birthday boy is in the kitchen.”

Merlin emerged after putting the roast in the oven, to greet his friends. They all made time to come by even though it was a weekday. Gwen held Kara in her arms as she kissed Merlin’s cheek and by now there was no denying Morgana’s pregnancy. Her belly was full enough to bump against Merlin as she hugged him. They all waited for dinner to be ready and listened to Percy and Mithian as they told them that they had finally found the perfect place to move in to together. 

“So I guess you‘ll need our help moving some time in the next few weeks?” Elyan asked; not that any of them minded helping. They had helped each other move across town before.  
Gwaine and Elena kept holding hands; they had announced their relationship around the time Merlin and Arthur had done the same. It was still weird seeing manwhoring Gwaine in a relationship, but somehow he and Elena worked together perfectly.

They had gone home to Ealdor for Christmas and had told Hunith about their change of relationship status. She had only hugged them both close and told them she already had her suspicions, but was happy for them that they had finally figured it out themselves.

Looking at the clock, Merlin decided that the roast had to be finished by now, so Arthur ushered them all into the dining room as Merlin brought the main course to their table.  
“To the birthday boy,” Arthur toasted, and everyone followed suit. “Whom I love very dearly. Thank god I realized what I had in you. I would be utterly lost without my idiot.”  
Everybody cheered and Merlin answered with a trademark “clotpole” before kissing Arthur.

He was the one who had to thank god, even though he still doubted his existence. He never would have thought so much would change before his birthday, but it had and he was so glad that it did. Surrounded by his friends and the man he loved, he knew his next year would be a completely new stage of life and he couldn’t wait for it to begin.

“Let’s eat,” Morgana announced, earning a few laughs. Merlin met Arthur’s eyes again and sent him a silent I love you, for which he received a smile.

Life was good.

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: One character uses the word "Tranny". I do not support this word or the actions of this character!


End file.
